


Honey Drip

by theLazarus



Category: Greta Van Fleet (Band)
Genre: F/M, GVF, Smut, god forgive me, imagine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-07-19 07:35:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19970365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theLazarus/pseuds/theLazarus
Summary: Friends with benefits is always a good idea, right? Maybe not if you're secretly and totally enamored with the raven-haired drummer of a garage band.//Back on my bullshit with Danny. There's sex. There's friendship. There's Greta Van Fleet--what more do any of us need?





	1. Notoriety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on wattpad (@BananaJubilee)

"We're not doing this right now," Danny said as I shut the door of the stranger's bedroom behind us, the whole room just barely dimly lit by the open blinds which allowed the porch lights to stream in.

I shoved him back with two fingers against his chest and he backed against the wall.

"You don't want to?" I asked. I was a little drunk--I had a couple of shots and was feeling bold and my covert teasing of Danny at the party hadn't sufficed so, with him also being tipsy, it hadn't been difficult to pull him into the homeowner's bedroom.

Danny sighed as I pressed myself against him. "I don't know if I wanna do anything in this bedroom," he said. "Whose house is this anyway?"

"You tell me, you're the one who dragged me here," I reminded him, running my fingers through his hair.

"That's only because Sam dragged me here," Danny replied and put his hands on my waist.

I smiled. "Come on, Daniel," I teased. "You don't think it'd be a little thrilling?"

"Thrilling?"

"Yeah, thrilling."

I laced my fingers through his hair again and kissed his neck as my hand traveled to the fly of his pants. I popped it open and unzipped, allowing my hand to dive freely past the barrier, cupping Danny through his boxers. He felt warm and a little hard and I smiled at the feeling, my lips still against his neck.

"Jeez," Danny breathed but he didn't resist.

"It's not like this is anything new, right?" I asked, slipping my hand underneath his boxers. "It's just a different location."

Danny closed his eyes. "Can people from outside see in?"

I glanced at the windows. "I don't think so. Don't even think about it," I told him and started to stroke. The more Danny tried to stifle his moans, the more turned on I got, and still I could feel himself getting harder in my hand.

I dropped to my knees and started to pull his pants down.

"Does the door lock?" Danny asked.

"No, but if it makes you feel better, we can go right here," I said and gently pushed him against it, making the doorknob rattle. Danny's lower half was exposed then and I held him in my hand as I licked from base to tip, his hands grabbing my hair.

Once I got a little more momentum with him completely in my mouth, Danny moaned a single "fuck" and pulled my hair harder, coercing me onto him even further. I gagged a little but kept going, working steadily. Danny was in fact pretty well-endowed, although it seemed like he never paid that any mind, and I sometimes got a kick out of how he didn't accurately gauge my own threshold during blowjobs. Even still, Danny was pretty much always gentle, sometimes even hesitant, and I found myself taking the lead more often than not. I didn't mind--I thought it was fun, for the most part anyhow.

I kept sucking, focusing on the head for a minute as I gripped his shaft with my right hand and had my left hand resting on his lower abdomen, feeling his deep breaths as he moaned quietly above me. Then his fingers were gripping my hair hard at the root and his breathing quickened.

"Oh fuck," Danny uttered.

Mercilessly I continued, the saliva all on him acting as the perfect lube to go even harder around him. Danny cursed again and pulled at my hair a little as he came, the heat filling my mouth and running down my throat. I pulled back, slowing down, and let him ride it out, his hands slowly falling away from me.

I swallowed and placed a kiss on his abdomen before I stood back up, wiping the saliva away from my lips.

Danny had that after-glow that drove me crazy--his hair a little messy from my hands and being backed against the door, his eyes shining in the dark, chest rising and falling, a faint flush to his cheeks. He even still had a slight look of surprise from being blindsided.

"Do you want another drink?" Danny asked a little breathlessly, pulling his pants back up.

As much as I enjoyed the taste of him, another drink sounded amazing.

"Yeah, I do," I said and took it upon myself to zip up and button Danny's fly for him.

I found Sam in the kitchen, talking very loudly with a small cluster of people. I moved behind them to pour some vodka into a glass before topping it off with some room-temperature seltzer I found already open on the counter. I took a sip, observing the conversation, with Sam still going on emphatically before we made eye contact. I gave him a nod and headed back out to the living area--Sam might have dragged Danny there, who dragged me there, but both of them still knew far more people at the party than I did. After the blowjob, I was feeling both relentlessly aroused and wanting more of Danny while also feeling too vulnerable, needing either of them to cling to for a minute before I found my social footing.

I was glad to have had a drink in hand when I saw Danny sitting on the couch with his ex-girlfriend next to him, her right leg casually resting in his lap. I tried to hide my disappointment and shock behind the glass, bringing it to my lips and taking a sip, but I still made the mistake of getting Danny's attention. He shot me a look that I couldn't decipher--maybe he felt bad that I had witnessed them like that. Nevertheless, I watched his hand move to her shin and I quickly moved forward and went out the front door to the porch.

The fresh March air, though chilly, felt nice. Maybe I just found it weird to have Danny's dick in my mouth one minute and then his hand on his ex's leg the next--maybe that was all it was, merely the jarring juxtaposition of the events.

"Can I bum one of those?" I asked the only other person outside, a guy I didn't know, not even wearing a jacket as he smoked.

"Sure," he said and reached into his jeans pocket for his pack and then handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said, feeling eternally grateful for all smokers everywhere. I thanked him again when he extended me his lighter and then inhaled, the hit of nicotine an immediate rush to the head, especially in tandem with the alcohol, and tried to stifle a cough.

The guy laughed a little and turned to me. "You good?"

"I'm not usually a smoker," I told him. "Only when drinking."

"Yeah, that's what I tell myself too."

I chuckled at that and then the screen door was pushing against my shoulder. I moved to the side and saw Sam beside me.

"We're starting beer pong," Sam told me.

"Get ready, Sammy," I replied, taking another drag. "Remember what happened last time you and I played?"

"Not this time," Sam said and snatched the cigarette from me, taking a drag himself. He then gestured at the other guy, who was still half-facing the street. "You playin'?"

The guy shrugged. "What do I get if I win?"

"Notoriety?" Sam quipped.

The guy tossed his cigarette butt into the driveway. "I'm definitely considering it," he said. "See you guys in there."

I felt relieved to have it just be Sam and me out there. I took the cigarette back from him and asked, "Is Danny playing?"

"You know Daniel, that's not really his forte," Sam said. "Besides, Alexis is here, so he's kind of tied up in that right now."

As far as I knew, Sam didn't know anything about Danny and I hooking up, ever, which at least gave me the opportunity to dig for details. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Didn't they break up like six months ago?"

"I think so, yeah. I don't know," Sam began. "I just saw her like, on him. But Daniel also seems pretty drunk and so does she, so--" He paused, cocking his head to the side and staring outward for a moment. "Yeah, I don't know."

Under-the-influence-Sam proved to be not much of a help unfortunately, though I couldn't blame him and I couldn't press him for more information without getting questioned myself. I then wished Josh was with us--I had told him about my thing with Danny not too long before the party. Plus Josh always knew how to have a good time no matter what, and I knew he would've been able to take me out of my funk.

I downed the rest of my drink and took one last drag of the cigarette before passing it back to Sam, who did the same and then stomped it out underneath his shoe. I led the way back inside, comforted by knowing Sam was right behind me as I moved past the people lingering on the couches and chairs, past Danny who still had Alexis on top of him, not even looking.

Still, in my drunken state I turned back to Sam and said, "They look comfortable" as we headed down to the basement where the air was at least three degrees warmer than upstairs, thanks to the mass of party-goers crowding around the fold-out table and mini fridge. I wondered if Danny would come down and be with us, which led me to wondering what he would do if that didn't happen.

I had no one to blame except for myself--he and I had established our "friends with benefits" relationship as just that.


	2. Trailblazers

Though the campus library was quiet, I couldn't concentrate on the literary paper I had to finish by the next day. I hadn't meant to avoid Danny since the party but in the four days following, our texts had been few and far between and I hadn't made a point to see him in person--or vice versa. I felt bad about it--I didn't want to give him the cold shoulder or any mixed signals--but I was wrapped up in my own feelings, feelings I couldn't even completely decipher.

Josh's pen tapping my laptop broke me out of my daze, my eyes dry from staring blankly at the half-completed document on the screen.

"Need a break?" Josh asked.

"No, I'm good," I told him. "Just zoning out."

"I'm stuck reading this dissertation on Gone With The Wind," Josh replied, looking back down at the thick bunch of papers he had printed out, parts of it highlighted in yellow ink.

"For your American film course?"

"Yeah."

"Meanwhile I'm stuck on a too-long poem about a giant bird," I grumbled.

"What?"

"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," I said and sighed. "It's just a lot. And we only had a couple days to do this."

"Take a break," Josh insisted. "I need more coffee and you probably do too."

I shut my laptop. "Alright, we'll get coffee but then it's right back to it, okay?"

Josh grinned.

Leave it to both of us and our procrastination to not, in fact, get right back to it. We got our second cups of coffee and then decided by merely looking at one another, to leave the library cafe and go back outside. It was quiet with it being colder--fellow students were mostly just passing by, no one hanging out on the grass of the quad or the scattered picnic tables. It didn't matter much though--Josh and Sam had carved out a secret trail behind campus when classes had first started.

Josh led the way behind the alum building to a patch of woods, the trail they had made so new and faint among the brush and trees I was a little surprised he could find it. It wasn't long before we made it to the other side, a clearing that faced the train tracks, still concealed by the woods surrounding.

I set my bag down on the ground and then situated myself next to it, carefully resting my coffee on a patch of dirt that seemed even enough to not let it immediately topple over. Josh sat down next to me, crossing his legs and rummaging through his bag. He pulled out a silver cigarette case and a lighter, opening the case to reveal a small joint.

"I can't believe you carry that around," I said with a laugh.

Josh smiled. "So far no one's found it," he said and put the joint between his lips and lit it, inhaling deeply before handing it to me. "Are you coming to our show tonight?"

I had almost forgotten completely about Greta Van Fleet's show at the little seedy dive bar downtown and, with Josh sparking my memory, I immediately thought of seeing Danny--and who knows, maybe Alexis in that case.

I hesitated for too long before taking a hit off the joint. "Well--" I began and Josh immediately cut me off.

"Oh come on, you have to come," he said. "We're gonna need you in that sea of strangers."

"I wanna go, I just--" I paused again, taking another quick hit before giving the joint back to Josh. I was feeling a little buzzed already--part coffee, part weed--and I reminded myself that Josh already knew Danny and I had been hooking up--so why not tell him about the party?

"Okay, so Sam, Danny and I went to that guy's party on Saturday," I began and Josh nodded. "It was fine, whatever. But Alexis was there and she and Danny were--canoodling."

Josh looked to the side, twisting his lower lip into sort of a frown. "Oh."

"But it's even worse than that, Josh," I went on. "Because right before that I--I fucking went down on Danny in the bedroom."

It was hard to tell if Josh was about to laugh or not, but I could tell he was stifling a loud reaction of some kind. He took a hit and then coughed, the laughter he had indeed failed to stifle causing all the smoke to puff out of his mouth.

"I know, I know," I said, taking the joint back.

"No, I'm not judging you," Josh assured me. "But it is sort of funny. Like, Danny? Danny let you do that?"

"Okay, well it took a little convincing, I guess," I said. "But yes, we did that. Then like two minutes later Alexis is dangling her legs over him."

"They did date for a long time, you know," Josh said, taking a sip of his coffee, his eyes starting to look a little bloodshot. "She was probably his first love."

"I know. And I know I have no right to feel any way about it," I replied, trying to not think about how I hadn't even ever had a first love. "Because this was, you know, our arrangement, I guess."

Josh paused for a moment before saying, "You can still be upset about it."

Those words of validation alone, plus being stoned, made me feel better. I passed the tiny stub of joint back to Josh so he could finish it off and leaned back on my palms.

"Thanks," I said, squinting out at the train tracks. "I appreciate that."

"I'm not gonna pressure you about the show," Josh said. "But I'd like for you to be there, of course. I'm sure Danny feels the same."

I chuckled, looking down at the grass between my legs. "Oh, I'm sure."

Josh scooted over to me and laid his arm over my shoulders. "Tell me something--do you like our boy Daniel?"

"I like all of you," I said with a sly smile, looking back out at the train tracks, trying to ignore Josh looking at me.

"You know what I mean."

I sighed. "Honestly? I don't know. Maybe, I guess. Or else why would I get at all upset about what happened?"

"Well," Josh started to say with a laugh. "I think anyone would be upset to see that after, as you said, going down on that same person."

I let my head rest on Josh's. "What a mess," I said. "I wasn't even that drunk."

"The choice is yours to get drunk or not tonight," Josh told me. "Maybe that's an incentive."


	3. Pride

I had told myself I would leave the set early to keep working on my paper but Josh had been right--drinking was an incentive to stick around. With Josh, Jake and I being the only legal drinkers out of the whole group, Sam had taken it upon himself to sneak large sips of my gin and tonics and then try to get me to buy him beer. He kept hounding me until I gave in, slipping the bartender another few bills, and handed him the glass. Sam winked and went back to the small stage, ducking by Danny's drums to chug the beer.

Danny and I hadn't had much interaction other than meekly waving at one another. I was on my second gin and tonic when the boys actually starting playing--I was always a little mesmerized by them. They all had different styles on stage yet came together in such a fluid way.

I loved watching Josh grin and dance around the stage, never failing to do so even when the audience was practically dead, like the audience was that night. Jake moved aggressively with his guitar, strands of his hair clinging to his face; Sam always looked so in it, like the entire room was empty except for him and his bass; and Danny pounded the drums like a beast, his hair wild around him, the ever-growing muscles in his arms still visible even under his t-shirt.

I clapped the most emphatically out of everyone else in the bar, the alcohol only fueling my excitement. By the third song my uncertainty about Danny had faded and I was lost in the music, raptured by Josh's belting vocals and the boys jamming around him and, by the final song, the bar crowd seemed a little more enthused than they had at the beginning, but the older, disgruntled-looking crowd seemed more focused on their drinks and each other than Greta Van Fleet. Still, the band didn't seem to give them too much mind--myself and the few others in there who had cheered and clapped must have been enough to keep them all in good spirits.

Danny sidled up next to me at the bar, running his hand through his hair and leaning on the counter. "Hey," he said, his eyes, dark in the dim light, regarding me amiably. "Sorry I haven't been, uh, in touch much recently."

"It's okay, I haven't been either," I said. "Sorry."

Danny smiled a little. "I'm glad you came out."

"Me too. You guys were great. Even when Jake messed up."

Danny laughed. "It's always Jake."

I finished off my drink, getting my wallet out one last time to leave a final tip. "What are you doing now?" I asked.

Danny turned to glance at his bandmates. "Uh, I'm not sure. I mean, Sam and I can't drink here," he said. "Probably just go back to their house. You coming?"

I thought of my paper waiting for me back in my apartment but then I thought of kicking back with some beers with the boys.

"I'll come," I told Danny, forgoing the paper and all of my other obligations.

Jake bought an entire 30 rack of beer, which I knew would only get us into more trouble, especially with Josh and I having 8am classes the next day, but no one protested. However, with the Kiszka parents being home, we all ended up at my apartment, which is how it went a lot of the time with them--tame plans turning into nights of slight chaos.

Sam immediately kicked his shoes off and sprawled himself on the couch; Jake placed the 30 rack on the coffee table, practically threatening to bust the legs of it, and tore open the cardboard. He popped one for himself then tossed one back to Sam, then to Josh. I grabbed one for myself and one for Danny, who had seated himself on the floor with his back against the couch, Sam above him.

I handed the beer to Danny and sat down next to Sam, lifting his legs and putting them in my lap.

"Don't you have a paper?" Josh asked me, smirking behind his beer.

I smirked back. "This is a priority. We have to celebrate."

"That crowd sucked," Jake remarked, tossing his jacket over the back of the big cushioned chair in the corner.

"What did you expect?" Sam replied. "That bar sucked."

"Yeah, it wasn't my favorite place," Danny chimed in.

"What's important is, we got to play," Josh reminded them, sitting on the floor next to the coffee table.

Jake looked around the room. "Where's your record player?"

I chuckled. "Jake, I'm too broke for one of those," I said and tossed him the TV remote. "But you can hook your music up that way. Please, though--no John Denver."

"Hey," Josh warned, pointing at me.

Jake put on The Cry of Love before sitting down in the same chair he'd thrown his jacket on. I let myself lean against Sam and dropped my free hand down, my fingers running lightly through Danny's hair, so lightly I wasn't sure he noticed until he leaned into it.

You got my pride

hanging outta my bed

You're messin' with my life

So I bought my lead

Eventually Josh tried raiding my kitchen for liquor, only to be disappointed when he found a quarter of a bottle of vodka and nothing else, although it didn't stop him and Sam from finishing most of it off themselves. Jake took down more beer than anyone and eventually passed out on the couch, one leg hanging off. I was more than buzzed but nowhere near the levels of Josh, Sam and Jake, who all seemed to have gotten trashed within a few minutes--with Danny it was harder to tell, although after Sam shoved a shot in his face, he stumbled and his cover had been blown.

I handed Josh a blanket after throwing one over Jake. "If only I had a two bedroom apartment," I said. "There might just be enough room for all of you."

"You gonna have Danny sleep with you?" Josh asked, wrapping the blanket around himself.

"Oh my god," I groaned, but he was right.

I turned the lights off except for the stove light in the kitchen. Danny was at the sink with a glass of water and I followed suit, filling a glass and chugging some myself, some of it dribbling down my chin and onto my shirt.

"Oh no, Sam," Danny laughed as he surveyed the living area--Jake snoring a little from the couch, Josh curled up in the chair and Sam face down on the floor.

"How does it feel to be the last man standing?" I asked.

"Not unusual."

I smiled at that and took Danny's hand in mine, leading him to my bedroom--not unfamiliar territory. Inside I took off my pants and crawled into bed, the alcohol swimming in my head. I rolled over on my side, waiting for Danny to do the same, which he did, unbuckling his belt and tossing his pants aside, then unbuttoned his shirt and tossed that with the pants, all before hitting the light, leaving us in near-total darkness.

I cozied up to him, his bare skin so incredibly warm, nuzzling my face into his shoulder and resting my arm over his chest.

"You didn't finish your paper," Danny said after a minute of silence.

I sighed. "Well, I still have another day." I traced my fingertip along his collarbone, trying to make out his face in the dark.

"I don't like my classes," Danny said with a sigh.

I rested my hand in the center of his chest. "Why?"

"It's just--not for me. School, I think."

"It's only your second semester. Things could change."

"Maybe. I don't know."

I reached up to his face in the dark, stroking his jaw with my thumb as I leaned in to kiss him. Danny's hand landed on my lower back, urging me closer. I felt relief in that--we were both drunk but I knew if Danny didn't want to do anything, he wouldn't. It was almost enough to forget about his ex-girlfriend.

I climbed on top of him, the blankets falling back to cover only our legs, and situated my crotch against his, both of us merely sheathed in our underwear. I put both my hands on his chest, gently rubbing back and forth against him. Danny knew by then I was notoriously horny when I drank and it made it much harder to control when I was around him.

Our first hookup hadn't been much unlike that--both of us a little drunk, allowing ourselves to let our guard down as I took the reigns. It had been fun--a little sloppy and disjointed but fun--and that night had compelled me to keep doing it.

Danny pulled me down by the back of my neck and kissed me hard. I kissed back, parting my lips to take his tongue in my mouth, and I felt him growing harder underneath me. I felt myself getting wet through my underwear, which incentivized me more to grind harder on top of him, my breathing already becoming a little ragged as the friction became more intense.

Breaking away from his mouth, I fumbled to the side and into my nightstand drawer, feeling for one of the stray condoms I kept in there. I reached further for the table lamp, twisting the little knob and bathing the room in dingy yellow light.

Danny groaned and shielded his eyes.

"I know," I replied, kissing him again. I straightened back up and repositioned my hands on his chest, running them down to his abdomen, as I gazed at him. His hair was messy against my pillows and his eyes glimmered in the light--I was mesmerized.

I rolled over onto my side, facing away from him, and pulled my underwear off myself, letting it twist itself into the confines of the foot of my bed. I felt Danny do the same, felt his knees knock into my back as he removed his boxers and then I glanced back over my shoulder to watch him put the condom on underneath the blanket.

He pushed himself up against me, resting his arm on the pillow under my head, then moved his other hand from my hip to in between my legs. Danny pushed them apart a little from behind and I hooked my ankle over his calf as he slid two fingers inside me.

I reached back and grabbed his hair. "Fuck," I uttered, closing my eyes. Drumming certainly hadn't made his hands any less gentle and I think it must have only improved his wrist strength.

I pulled on Danny's hair a little harder as he curled and uncurled his fingers inside me, knowing I couldn't be as vocal as I normally was. He removed them but the emptiness didn't last long--he pushed himself even closer against me, holding my leg back and pushing me almost completely on my stomach as he went inside.

"Fuck," I said again and muffled my face into the pillow.

"Is that okay?" Danny asked, pausing.

"Yes, please, just keep going."

Danny obliged, entering me completely and pressing himself down against my back, moving my hair away to kiss my neck. He warmed up to real thrusts after letting me get used to the feeling, his hips grinding into my ass.

I held his forearm against my chest and then freed my other hand, popping my ass up into him so I could reach down and rub myself as he continued to thrust, all the while we both tried to quiet our sighs and moans. I knew Josh, Jake and Sam were dead asleep but I still never wanted to be caught dead in a position like that, literally.

My hair was beginning to get matted to the back of my neck--I was still in my sweater and Danny was a space heater all on his own, especially with his face buried in my neck. I lifted my head up for more air and gripped Danny's forearm tighter.

"Fuck, that feels so good," I whispered, getting so close as I rubbed my clit, feeling my wetness surrounding Danny inside me.

He grunted quietly with his face pressed against my shoulder. I sometimes found myself making it a race of who could finish first--usually I did. I hadn't expected Danny to be great in bed so on that drunken night when it happened, he had surprised me. He had always just seemed so quiet, so gentle but I learned that those qualities actually made him really great in bed. He was willing to get in tune with my body as I was with his; he was amazing with his hands, arguably even better with his mouth--I could kiss him all day long and never tire of it.

I got back in focus, centering myself as Danny's deep thrusts filled me. I felt my pelvis begin to tighten, which earned me a quiet "fuck" from him.

I dug my nails into his forearm, tipping my head forward. "Oh my god, Danny, please," I begged into the mattress, quivering and tightening around him. I came a few seconds later, silently at first before pressing my face into the mattress again to muffle my moans and expletives.

I was still reeling a bit when Danny pulled me up by my hips and thrust harder, squeezing my breasts through my sweater. His chin fell against my shoulder again as his breathing grew heavier--he squeezed my breast harder and then his thrusting halted, his other hand gripping my hip.

"Fuck," he breathed, rolling his hips against me.

My hair was sticking to my neck, there was foundation smeared on my own sheets, and my whole body felt slick with a sheen of sweat. Still, I was euphoric--a little buzzed and basking in the glow of another amazing orgasm, my heart pounding and my breath still caught in my chest.

Danny slowly rolled back from me. Before I let myself get too comfortable I shot up and pulled my underwear back on, needing to pee and wash my face, maybe dab my neck with cold water.

"Hey!" Danny hissed as I opened the door, reaching for the blanket to cover himself.

In the bathroom I peed and then washed the remnants of the makeup off my face; brushed my teeth and dampened the same washcloth I used for my face with cold water, holding my hair up as I dabbed my neck. I listened for any movement from the living area but heard nothing other than Jake still softly snoring.

Danny was on his back with one arm behind his head when I returned to my bedroom, his hair up in a bun then, his face flushed. I got back into bed, pulling the blanket over myself.

"What'd you do with the condom?" I asked, rolling onto my side, giving myself a close-up view of his bicep.

"Trash can," Danny replied, nodding at the bin in the corner.

"Cute," I remarked.

"I'm sorry, did you want it somewhere else?" Danny asked sarcastically.

"No, no, that was exactly where I wanted it," I said and sat up to put my hair in a bun just like my companion--I was already back to feeling overheated with the room dank from sex and Danny next to me. "Can you get the light?"

Danny stretched and turned it off, both us back in the dark. I realized that it was actually the first time we had slept in the same bed--our past hookups had ended with Danny taking an uber home from my place or, on the nights where full intercourse didn't happen, we just went on our merry ways. Suddenly I felt vulnerable and uncertain--did I pressure Danny into staying in my room? Where else was he going to stay though? Would he want to cuddle?

I decided to try and get an answer to the last question by rolling onto the opposite side and sidling up against Danny, my back to him. I tried to relax, waiting for him to move, which he did--he rolled onto his side and wrapped his leg around mine, then wrapped his arm around me.

"You still drunk?" I asked, my eyes closed.

"No," Danny murmured.

"Me either. That sobered me up," I said with a chuckle.

"Maybe you won't have a hangover."

I sighed, feeling sleep starting to take me, and curled myself into Danny more. It was strange to be in bed like that with him. I hadn't expected anything to ever happen with him--or any of them--and I was still confused about what I wanted.


	4. Sweat

In the morning all I wanted was to go back to bed, but my alarm rang from underneath my pillow, jolting me awake. I sat up, turning off the alarms with my eyes still half-shut, and forced myself to get out of bed. Danny stirred but didn't wake and, before I went into the bathroom, I tried to remember the image of him face down and sprawled out on my bed.

I only rinsed myself off, taking a few extra seconds to rub myself down with soap, and then quickly tried to throw on some makeup, all in an effort to make my still-flushed and slightly puffy face less so.

As I got dressed Danny stretched and then propped himself up, sleepily looking around the room. He sat up when his eyes landed on me, crossing his legs in front of him, and rubbed his eyes.

"Good morning," he mumbled.

"Morning," I replied, tugging on a pair of jeans. "How'd you sleep?"

"Well, I was very warm."

I laughed. "Tell me about it. You're seriously a furnace."

Danny looked up at me. "You have class?"

"Josh and me, yeah. I don't know why I thought an 8am lit class would be okay," I said and turned to look in the mirror, letting my hair down and running my fingers through it. "Danny, just do me a favor and lock the door when you leave. You guys can all stay as long as you want."

Danny smiled but laid back down. "Have fun."

In the living area Jake was still on the couch but he had ended up face up, his mouth open and the blanket huddled around his chest and arms, his feet bare with his legs tucked in. Sam had migrated to the other end of the couch, looking quite peaceful with his cheek cradled in his hand.

I nudged Josh's shoulder. He tried to turn away, clutching the blanket tighter, so I nudged him again, his whole body curled up on the chair.

"Gotta get up," I said. "We have to go soon."

He groaned and then yawned. "Sleep," he muttered.

I sighed. "I'll buy you coffee."

Josh turned to face me, barely opening his eyes. "Not library coffee."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, not library coffee. Come on."

Josh got up but still held the blanket around his shoulders. He looked at his brothers then back at me and asked, "Is Danny still here?"

"He went back to sleep."

Josh giggled and I rolled my eyes again.

With both of our Starbucks coffees in hand, Josh and I headed off to our respective classes. I adjusted my backpack over my shoulder, the weight of all the novels and books of poetry making it almost unbearable, and struggled to take a sip from the styrofoam cup.

"What's going on with you two now?" Josh asked as we walked.

"Who?" I replied, thinking about the paper I still hadn't finished.

"You and Danny."

"Oh. Well, nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Well, we had sex, if that's what--"

"I gathered that much, but did you guys talk?"

"About what?"

"You know--your feelings."

I shot Josh a glaring look but then softened. "There's nothing to say right now," I told him. "I wanted to ask about Alexis but that seemed--needy."

"But you're jealous?"

"God, Josh, it's a little early."

Josh left it at that and I was grateful--my head was pounding a little from dehydration, my body was sore from sex, and I couldn't spend another day getting distracted by Danny. Our walk together ended inside the liberal arts building, with Josh having to walk to the very back and up to the third floor, while I had to stay on the first floor.

"When's your break?" I asked Josh as we began to split up.

"11:30," he replied, walking backwards.

"Meet in the library?"

Josh shot me a finger gun.

When I got back home around 1:30, the door was unlocked. I sighed as I turned the knob, expecting my apartment to have been looted, but nothing was amiss. Instead, Danny was at the coffee table holding a plastic grocery bag and putting empty beer cans inside of it.

"You're still here," I said, resting my backpack on the small table that sat outside the line of kitchen tiles. "I'm glad, I thought I was going to walk in and see my TV gone."

Danny laughed. "Yeah, no, I uh, slept in pretty late so I figured I'd clean."

I bent over to pick up a stray beer can from the floor and popped it in the bag. "And I take it Sam and Jake didn't stick around to help?"

"Jake's excuse was that he bought the beer," Danny said. "Sam--well, he didn't have an excuse."

"You really didn't have to do this," I said. "But thank you."

"It's the least I could do after probably ruining your sheets," Danny replied, picking up a can that was left on the coffee table, walking to the kitchen sink and dumping out its remains. "From uh, sweating so much."

"Speaking of, did you shower?"

"No, actually, can't you tell?"

I laughed. "If you want, you can shower here and then we can go get lunch. Or dinner, whichever seems more appropriate."

Danny paused in the kitchen, the bag still in his hand, then asked, "Did you finish that paper?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did."

Danny shrugged. "Okay."

I always loved driving with Danny--whether it was him or me behind the wheel, we almost always listened to Led Zeppelin while on the road. He and I had gone through the band's entire discography during our car rides alone and it never got old.

Danny flipped through my CD case and removed Led Zeppelin IV from its slip, sliding it into the car stereo, and Robert Plant's voice rang through the car.

Hey, hey mama said the way you move

Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove

I thought for a moment about that paper I had indeed technically finished, knowing I still needed to thoroughly proofread it before submitting it, then about the British literature paper I had to start. It felt neverending--I couldn't blame Danny for not being into school.

"Wait," I said. "Didn't you have class today?

Danny took a second to answer. "I had a class at 11," he told me. "And one at 1:30."

Hey, hey baby, when you walk that way

Watch your honey drip, I can't keep away

"Why didn't you go?" I asked, trying to not sound accusatory.

"Honestly, I slept until like, 11:30 anyway," Danny said, looking out the window. "And then I just felt it was pointless."

I considered that before saying, "I get that. But I also feel like--if you don't wanna go, it's better to drop out than just fail."

Danny sighed. "I don't know what I wanna do yet."

"Well, you know you can always study with Josh and I," I said. "Or just me. I took the same lit class you're taking now. Feel free to use my notes."

Danny smiled a little and I felt my heart flip. "I might take you up on that."


	5. Whiskey

A little to my surprise, Danny did take me up on helping him study a couple times. I had saved all of my notes from my prior English classes while never really thinking I'd have much of a use for them in the future, so I was at least glad Danny found them helpful. Spring break had come and all of us wanted to do well on our exams--but we wouldn't know until we got back from our camping trip. 

Well, it was really their camping trip--I wasn't sure if my invite had been made out of pure desire for me to be there or not, but when Josh had asked me, I of course said I would go. I had never been camping with the boys before but I always found myself envious of their excursions--the last time I had been camping was with my dad when I was a kid and a part of me really missed it. I could only imagine it being made better by weed, alcohol and possibly sleeping in the same tent as Danny.

At least I wouldn't freeze, if that were the case.

"You gonna help us pitch the tent?" Jake asked from the driver's seat, smirking at me as we drove up a gravel road, the tires tugging at the loose stone.

I held back a laugh, not wanting to encourage him. "I'll do my best," I said. "No promises."

"You're the worst one at pitching tents," Josh said to his twin, poking him in the arm from the backseat. "Skilled with the guitar, not skilled with sticking some poles in the ground."

Jake rolled his eyes.

"We did bring vodka, right?" I asked.

"And lots of it," Josh chirped, smiling.

"Whiskey, too," Jake said.

I glanced out the impending mountains, their grey peaks getting closer and closer as we drove on.

"What are the sleeping arrangements?" I asked, not daring to look in the rear-view mirror to see Josh's face.

Jake emitted a low, deep laugh and said, "I brought my own tent, man."

"Of course you did," I replied.

"I figured I'd sleep with Sam," Josh said and turned to me, perched between Jake and I, resting each elbow on our seats.

I wasn't even sure why I had asked--none of the arrangements had shocked me. Still, I didn't want Danny to feel like he had to sleep with me. I didn't even know if he wanted me to be on the camping trip at all.

"I don't wanna make Danny uncomfortable," I declared.

Jake snickered and shot me a sideways glance. "Didn't he crash in your bed with you the other night?"

"We were drunk," I said.

"I don't think it'll be much different then," Jake told me and I couldn't determine if I preferred it that way or not.

"You really aren't great at this," I said to Jake as he struggled to construct his tent, although I was struggling just as much as he was without help. "But I'm not doing much better."

Jake grimaced as he tried to raise the tent. "It always seems so easy."

I abandoned mine and Danny's tent and went to Jake's side to hold the other corner, and the improved coordination finally allowed his tent to pop up into place.

"Thanks," Jake said, grabbing the stakes. "Now we gotta do yours."

"I guess, seeing as how my partner abandoned me," I replied.

Jake looked over at Danny, Josh and Sam back at the cars, unloading the supplies, food and sleeping bags, all of them in front of a misty grey mountain backdrop, framed by tall, thick pine trees.

"They can have fun setting up theirs by themselves," Jake told me with a grin. "We'll already be getting into trouble."

"Not the whiskey."

Jake nodded. "Oh yeah, the whiskey."

"So you're going full-in on day one?"

Jake laughed. "Spring break doesn't last forever."

"You're not even in school, Jake."

"Exactly."

I chuckled--Jake had a point. I didn't think any of us liked to think too much about time passing but it was, of course, unstoppable. Spring break would fly by, so would the next year, and Josh and I would graduate and then who knew? We had all been lucky enough to somehow stick together since high school, more than a lot of people can say, but changes were inevitably going to happen. 

The camping trip was not for those anxieties, though, so once we goth both of our tents set up, Jake and I cracked open the bottle of whiskey.

"Are you serious?" Sam asked, staring at us from his own pile of tent pieces.

Jake snickered and took a swig, then handed me the bottle. I downed it and coughed a little, sputtering--I absolutely hated whiskey but it did seem like the most appropriate camping drink. Besides, Jake just had a way of convincing me to make bad decisions.

"It's never too early," Jake replied.

"I agree," Josh said and marched over to us, holding out his hand. "May I?"

I handed him the bottle and watched him tilt his head back and swallow, a little envious of how he did it with such ease.

"What's first on the to-do list?" I asked, the whiskey still burning in my throat.

"Firewood," Jake said and stole the bottle from Josh.

"Daniel and I are going to finish setting up here," Sam called out.

"Fine, we'll go," Jake replied. "But I'm taking the whiskey."

I snatched the bottle from him and went to put it back in the car. "Sometimes it is too early," I told him. "Let's all hold off until we're actually around the fire telling scary stories, alright?"

Jake waved me away, sauntering off to the woods and I looked at Josh, who rolled his eyes though he smiled, and we followed after the lanky guitar player, headed to the thick, shadowed woods.

With our campsite behind us, Josh and I still trailed behind Jake, who was fluidly stepping over fallen trees, branches snapping beneath his feet. I moved a spindly branch that was jutting out away from my face, trying to also watch for roots.

"Josh, I have to ask," I began, my breath a pale plume in front of my mouth in the cold air. "Do you guys want me here? Like, am I just imposing?"

"Of course I want you here, I asked you," Josh replied.

"What about Danny though?"

Josh turned to look at me. "You two have always been friends," he said. "I'm sure he's happy to have you here. But you don't have to sleep with him if you don't want to. I can kick Sam out and you can sleep with me."

I laughed. "No, it's not even that. I guess--" I paused, stopping to inspect some dry-looking branches off to the side. "I guess I should have known friends with benefits is always a terrible idea."

Josh gave me a sympathetic look, his eyes soft, and he bent over to grab some wood. "I think you just need to tell him how you feel," he told me.

"But do I even know how I feel?"

"I really think you do."

I sighed, cradling the branches in my arms, then looked for Jake, who was steadily leaving our sight, a pile of wood in his arms.

"We should really go get him," I said to Josh, laughing a little.


	6. Dare

The sunset had been sort of dismal--it was so grey and hazy that the magenta and gold sun hadn't gotten much of a chance to burst through past the mountaintops and the mist. The darkness that set in after was all-encompassing, dense and oppressive--it seemed to have quieted all of our surroundings to near-total silence. Only the crackling of the fire sounded through the air, cut by our echoing laughter.

Jake was strumming his guitar and Josh was singing a song he was calling "Flower Power" until Sam threw a fragment of charred wood at Jake, but he only kept strumming.

"I like this one," I said to Danny, who was sitting on a tree stump next to me. "I haven't heard it before."

"We wrote it a while ago," he told me. "We're gonna play it at our next show."

"Yeah, if Jake can get it together," Sam chimed in.

Jake leered at his brother but kept playing, the chiming of the guitar strings permeating the atmosphere.

I took another sip of whiskey from the bottle and handed it to Danny. I didn't want to get too drunk, knowing myself and how irresistible Danny becomes particularly when I've had one too many--we still had another night to get through.

When the song ended Sam picked up the bottle of vodka that was situated on the ground next to him and took a swig, then he declared, "We should play truth or dare."

Jake and I both groaned while Sam's face lit up and Danny chuckled to himself, going for the whiskey again.

"What are we gonna dare?" I asked. "Go out to the woods and try not to die?"

"Come on, when's the last time any of us played this?" Sam replied.

"Sam, you just wanna mess with us," Danny said.

"You're not totally wrong," Sam replied and speared a marshmallow onto a stick before putting it in the flames. "But I still think it'd be fun."

"You brought it up, so you start," Jake told him.

Sam smirked, removing the marshmallow from the fire and holding the flaming blob in front of himself. "Okay," he started, then peered at Danny. "Daniel--truth or dare?"

Danny sighed. "Truth."

"How drunk would you have to be to run naked through the woods?"

"Pretty drunk," Danny answered, chuckling. "And now I have to worry if I choose dare, clearly."

"Your turn," Sam said to him.

"Josh," Danny said, turning his face to the flames to look across them. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Josh said, grinning.

"I dare you to try and blow a flame," Danny said. "Using the vodka."

"Jesus," I groaned.

Josh was grinning even wider and took the bottle to his mouth.

"That's literally not going to work," Jake argued, slumping in his chair.

"I just wanna see what'll happen," Danny replied, watching Josh intently.

I was more mesmerized by Josh holding the vodka in his mouth than by anything else that was about to happen. He leaned forward and a spray of liquid erupted from his lips, misting Sam and I, to which I exclaimed disgust while Sam kept looking on, mouth slightly agape. The flame of the fire spiked as the vodka burst through it--a brief, bright orange spike--but that was it.

Josh coughed, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "I just love fire."

"Fucking pyro," I laughed, still wiping away the vodka spray from myself.

"Ah, maybe!" Josh exclaimed, his cheeks flushed, then turned to me. "Truth or dare?"

I didn't want truth, at least not then, and I didn't think Josh would be a complete dick when it came down to a dare, so I took my chances on it.

"Dare."

Josh grinned again, his teeth shining against the fire. "I dare you to walk into the woods," he said and pointed away from the campsite. "Just a little bit--just enough so you're in the woods--and stand there for five minutes."

I followed the point of his fingertip to take in the blackness of the woods--the shapes of the trees weren't even visible, just all black. Five minutes should be easy and I knew I had no real threat other than maybe a wild animal but even still, no real threat. Regardless, staring into the black portal of forest was not my idea of a good time.

"Facing you or facing away?" I asked.

"Facing away," Sam chirped.

"Sam--" Danny cut in, shooting Sam a harsh glance.

"No, no, it's fine," I replied and stood up, grabbing the whiskey from Danny and taking a swig. "I'll face away. Five minutes. You guys better time it."

"You're going to be on the edge of darkness," Josh called after me as I walked away.

Even the short walk to the edge of the woods was foreboding--I could hear the boys fading out behind me as the warmth of the fire disappeared. Soon I was met with almost complete silence, surrounding me as I pushed through the darkness. I wasn't even smart enough to have brought my phone to use as a flashlight and navigating wasn't the easiest--every shadow looked like a predator or something I was going to bump into.

I tried to gauge my surroundings when I reached the woods but I couldn't see anything still, so I stepped forward into the trees, the silence deafening. It was so much colder without the fire, too--I could see my breath and nothing else, the small white clouds disappearing into the dark.

It felt like it had already been at least a couple minutes but I had to figure my sense of time was off. I stood there with my arms crossed, tapping my foot against the ground. I wasn't drunk enough for blind courage--not with the woods, not with Danny.

Josh had been right--I did know how I felt. Standing there in the dark I was able to look back on the tell-tale signs of me falling for Danny--all the late night text conversations that I had stayed up for, lying in bed with my body begging me to go to bed, but holding on just to keep talking with him; the nervousness of kissing him for the first time and how my heart had flipped in my chest when it had happened; how I had wanted to feel his lips on mine forever; how even right after we had hooked up for the first time I had prayed that we would still be friends, that I hadn't ruined anything, while also silently hoping that Danny would tell me he wanted more.

I heard something moving behind me and I froze with fear for a second--either one of the boys or a bear or perhaps even a lunatic wandering the mountains looking for a lone dumbass to murder--before getting back to my senses and turning around, straining to see whatever it was, my heart pounding, my body tense.

"Hey," came Danny's voice from the dark. "Time's up."

I exhaled, the terror free to then leave me. "God, you scared the shit out of me," I said, approaching his silhouette.

Danny laughed a little. "Sorry--I didn't think you'd be able to hear us calling."

"I could use a partner to walk back with anyway," I said. "It's scary as fuck out here."

Danny wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him. "Yeah, it's pretty spooky. Come on," he said. "There's more whiskey waiting for you."

His warmth and weight around me felt so right--so needed that my body ached for more. I clung to him for a second and said, "We have to get Josh back good for this."

Danny laughed again. "Oh, we will."

I ended up drinking more whiskey than I had intended--partially encouraged by Sam, who would try and tip the bottle into my face whenever I went to take a swig, and partially from just being drunk to begin with and losing my sensibility. Sam had broken out a bowl and packed it with weed and we all smoked, the high making my drunken state even more delirious, all of laughing our heads off, the sounds echoing around us.

"I hate to say it," Jake said as he stumbled out of his chair. "But we should go to bed. We're hiking in the morning."

"Fuck," Sam groaned. "I forgot."

"It'll be fine," Josh said. "We packed a bunch of Gatorade. Anyway, the mountains are calling and that's all we need."

I looked at him quizzically.

"6 am," Josh reminded all of us, grabbing his phone to set an alarm. There was no cell service but we at least had that.

"We have coffee too, right?" Sam asked.

"Cowboy coffee," Danny told him.

"I fucking love cowboy coffee," Jake slurred loudly as he stumbled his way into his tent.

"Goodnight folks," Sam said, making his way into his and Josh's tent, kicking off his boots on the way in.

Josh looked at Danny and I, taking another swig of vodka: "Don't be loud, please."

Danny stared back at him for a moment before turning to look at me, confused and possibly offended.

"What?" Danny finally asked, turning his attention back toward Josh.

Josh looked back to me, his eyes wide and said, "Oh fuck, sorry--"

"Josh, you're drunk," I said, though I was pretty plastered myself. "Even if we were loud, you'd be out cold."

"Fair enough," Josh replied with a giggle and began to make his way into his tent. "Goodnight."


	7. No One Else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry for any of this. Or anything previously. Or the future chapters I've written.

I waited for Danny to lay in on me for telling Josh about us but he only stood up in silence, lingering next to me. I followed, almost immediately stumbling as I rose, and Danny steadied me with his hand on my shoulder.

The slippery feel of the sleeping bag beneath me took me back to camping with my dad--the smell of the plastic tent and the fire outside, the hard earth under me, the sensation of being both overheated and freezing all at once--it was nostalgia, only exacerbated by the whiskey.

I couldn't handle Danny not saying anything--I rolled over onto my side to look at him: "Danny, I'm sorry I told Josh," I said. "It wasn't fair."

Danny finished unlacing and removing his boots from the opening of the tent; he scooched inside and zipped it shut, sitting cross-legged next to me with a flashlight lying on its side acting as the only light.

"It's okay," he said. "I mean, someone was bound to figure it out at some point anyway."

That didn't make me feel any better about breaching his trust. I sat up then: "Please, I'd rather have you be mad at me than--I don't know, be silently mad or--"

Danny leaned into me and held my face in his hand, stroking my cheek with his thumb. Looking in his eyes in the bit of scattered, shadowy light we had in the tent, I wanted to tell him everything that I had told Josh.

"I'm not mad," Danny said and kissed me, brushing his lips against mine before our mouths met completely.

I sighed and took hold of his jacket, grabbing the collar and pulling him into me, our kisses becoming deeper, sloppier. I tried to feel his body through all his layers--I unzipped his jacket and palmed his chest, aching to feel his skin past the clothing--as Danny sucked on my bottom lip before taking it between his teeth, biting it a little.

I laughed and he pulled away.

"What?" he asked.

"You've never done that before," I told him, kissing him again.

"Really?"

I shook my head, smiling about the new technique, kissing his jaw, reaching my hand down to his crotch to feel his bulge through his sweatpants. Danny exhaled and kissed me hard, pushing me down against the sleeping bags. I kissed back just as hard before kissing down to his throat, letting my teeth graze his skin as I sucked--I wanted to give him a hickey.

Danny moaned and I sucked harder, moving to a new spot, then I felt his hand maneuver past my sweatpants that were layered over a pair of leggings and past my underwear.

I couldn't find a word--I just emitted a quiet moan against his neck, and spread my legs as best I could as Danny started to very gently massage me.

"Wait," Danny said, stopping his motions. "I don't have a condom."

I looked up at him: "I brought condoms."

Slowly, Danny removed his hand from my pants. "Really?"

I propped myself up on my elbows. "Yeah," I said. "I mean--you never know what could happen, right?"

Danny sat back. "You didn't bring those for anyone else, right?"

I stared at him, not knowing what to say but feeling heat rise in my body--his insinuation felt like a slap in the face.

"Are you serious?" I replied. I felt myself getting too worked up and I told myself to reel it in, but the heat kept rising.

"I'm joking--"

"Fuck you, Danny," I spat, sitting up, pushing away the urge to storm out of the tent.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Danny said, moving closer to me and reaching for my arm, which I pulled away. "I really was joking."

"No, you weren't," I told him. "I can't believe you'd think I would do that."

I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, threatening to pour over at any moment; I could feel my blood run hot; I could feel the frenzied rage, so hurt by even the idea of doing what Danny had "joked" about. I didn't care what Sam or Jake or even Josh thought--but Danny, I cared about what he thought.

"Don't leave," Danny pleaded, noticing me looking at the zipped tent flap.

"I'm not," I said. "Only because there's nowhere else to go."

"Please, it's not like that," Danny went on. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's just you," I exclaimed, practically shrieking, my whole body hot. "There's no one else, especially not them--I can't believe I even have to tell you that."

"No one else?" Danny repeated quietly after a tense moment of silence.

Finally I turned to look at him. "No one else," I said.

Danny nodded.

I sighed. "You know, I was so nervous the first time we had sex," I told him, studying his face in the shadows.

He looked back to me. "Why?"

I had started all of it--I needed to finish it, drunk and hurt or not. I had to tell Danny how I felt. I couldn't do it anymore--if he wanted to be with Alexis, so be it. If he wanted to be with anyone else but me, fine, but I had to get it out of me.

"Because it felt like it meant something," I confessed. "Kissing you was--one of the best things I've ever felt. It always is."

Danny didn't say anything.

I went on, trying not to slur my words too much: "I used to, well, sometimes still do--stay up so fucking late just to keep texting you."

Danny laughed a little.

"I think about you all the time," I said. "I can't even hear one second of a Led Zeppelin song without thinking about you."

Danny laughed more at that. "Yeah?"

Then I laughed. "I know I'm drunk Danny," I said. "But I mean all of this. I don't think about anyone else. I don't want anyone else."

I waited--waited for something, anything, to come from his mouth.

"Me either," Danny finally said.

My heart raced, beating into my throat, and I felt my stomach flip. It was happening--was it a drunken delusion or a dream?

"I'm sorry," I blurted.

Danny looked at me, confused. "Why?"

"I could have just been honest but--I tried to get as close to you as possible without being rejected."

"I think I kind of knew you really liked me at our last show," Danny mused, smiling. "You were looking at me a lot more than usual. Different, I guess."

I smiled. "I love watching you play," I told him. "You're so intense--I've never seen anything like it."

Danny smiled back and moved to me, holding my cheek in his hand again, and kissed me.

His kisses felt like they could solve everything, but I pulled away.

"What about Alexis?" I asked, looking into his golden-brown eyes, his pupils dilated and reflected the flashlight.

"We haven't done anything. Barely even talked," Danny said. "She was pretty tipsy at the party. I just--I'm really sorry. I know how that looked."

"Well, it was really weird to see you guys like that," I said with a laugh. "After I had sucked your dick five minutes before."

"You're insane," Danny said softly and kissed me again, pushing me back onto the ground.

"I know," I replied, peeling his jacket away from him.

Danny kept his lips on mine as his hands traveled under the layers of a sweatshirt and two long sleeved shirts, his touch making me shiver.

"Sorry," he said. "Too cold?"

"No, you're fine," I said and brushed his hair away from his face.

Danny squeezed my breast with one hand while his other traveled back down, once again slipping inside my pants, and he slid his finger up and down lightly for a few seconds before sliding it inside.

I gasped a little and asked, "So are we actually gonna use the condoms?"

Danny chuckled and kissed me, still gently pumping his finger in and out, his palm rubbing my clit. "Do you want to?"

"Is that even a real question?"

Danny smiled. "It's gonna be cold."

I pulled him down and kissed his neck. "You're warm enough," I assured him, reaching my hand down his pants.

"Come here," Danny said, lifting me up a little and spreading his jacket down beneath me. "More cushioning, maybe."

He pulled down my pants, yanking them away from my ankles, and laid them off to the side. He was right--it was very cold. Thankfully the body heat that still lingered on Danny's jacket helped a bit, but goosebumps still spread over my legs as I shuddered.

Danny got back on top of me, his left knee resting in between my legs, and moved his hand back down, sliding two fingers inside again. I grabbed a handful of his hair, my breathing becoming ragged, and kissed him hard--between the argument, the cold and the excitement, it felt like all of the whiskey had worked its way out of my body, but Danny's hands and mouth created a different sort of intoxication.

"The condoms are in my backpack," I said, still feeling a little weird about having brought them after all that, and I propped myself up on my elbows, suddenly feeling very exposed.

After Danny fished one out and turned back to me, he paused. "What is it?" he asked.

"I feel weird," I told him. "About bringing them. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, like I was using you."

"I don't see it that way," Danny said, moving between my legs again. "I'm just happy you were excited to have sex with me."

I laughed. "Always."

Danny gingerly spat onto his fingers and began to rub my clit: "You want it?"

I held onto his arm, arching my back a little.

"Yeah, I do," I said and sat up so I could reach back into his pants, wrapping my hand around his hard-on.

Danny pulled his pants down and I watched him put the condom on, the memory of the two of us getting into it one night only to find the only condom I had had expired--go figure. I only started buying them again because of Danny.

He was it.

Danny pressed himself against me and kissed me--I ran my hand through his hair with our foreheads pressed together, keeping my eyes locked on his face as he slowly slid inside.

"Is it okay?" Danny asked once he had basically gone to the hilt.

It was more than okay--it felt like even more of a first time than our real first time had been, and far more of a real first time than my own first time. I sighed, taking all of Danny in, literally and figuratively, my eyes tracing over his face.

"Yeah," I answered and motioned for him to lean back down.

Danny obliged, starting to work up a rhythm as he kissed me.

I arched into him, his thrusts getting deeper, and held onto the back of his neck with my hand. Danny's concentration and immersion during sex wasn't so different from that of when he was playing the drums onstage--I watched him closely and paid attention to his deep breaths and quiet moans, biting my lip to contain my own sounds.

"Fuck, you're so fucking wet," Danny moaned softly.

I really was--wetter than I had ever been during sex with him, which was saying something. My wetness allowed Danny's thrusts to get harder and deeper, and I could see my wetness as dark splotch on the crotch of his pants, could feel some dripping down onto his jacket, the worry of which I had to shake from my mind--we'd deal with it in the morning. At least the stain would be on the inside.

Danny gave a particularly forceful thrust and I gasped.

"Oh fuck, sorry," he said, tangling his fingers in my hair.

"Keep doing that," I instructed, clenching around him.

Danny smiled and obeyed, mimicking the same movement, slamming himself into me hard and slow--I could feel every inch of him. He licked his fingers and brought them down to my clit--I scrambled to hold onto him, grabbing his shoulder, the orgasm building.

"Cum for me," Danny said.

"Fuck--please, keep doing that," I begged, digging my nails into him.

Danny's weight on top of me--his overwhelming warmth--felt like heaven, so I couldn't even describe how it felt to have him inside me and touching me like that. It was a new sort of paradise. I wanted it to last forever yet I wanted to erupt.

My pelvis began to tighten around him even more and I struggled to find my breath. I moved my hand from his shoulder to his neck, squeezing the side of it gently, his hair brushing over my knuckles.

"I'm gonna cum," I said, my other hand landing on his waist.

Danny half-laughed, half-moaned, and continued. "Give it to me," he said.

A few seconds later I saw the world turn to total white and all sound disappeared, but I still felt Danny's fingers on my clit and him thrusting into me, his hair brushing against my skin and my fingers gripping his neck, but as the curse words and moans escaped my lips, Danny clamped his hand over my mouth.

I shuddered around him and looked into his eyes, dark and gleaming, and as my breathing began to slow, Danny took his hand away from my mouth and replaced it with his lips, kissing me so fervidly that I flattened completely against the ground. He slid his tongue into my mouth as his thrusts quickened, and I ran my hands through his hair.

"Your turn," I said. "Cum for me, Danny."

It wasn't long before he did, stifling his moan so it came out as a low, breathy whisper, biting his lip as he rocked into me. I pulled him back into a kiss, letting my legs fall back to free him, and he stayed there for a minute before slowly pulling out and rolling onto his back.

"Fuck," he uttered, running his hand over his face. "I'm warm enough now."

I exhaled and ran my fingers through my hair, still slightly out of breath. "Me too," I said and moved to him. "I guess we don't even need the fire."

Danny chuckled. "Guess not."

"Sorry about your pants," I said, looking at the wet spot again, then back to the jacket. "And your jacket."

Danny looked down at himself and then at his jacket and laughed. "Oh fuck, who cares?"

I sat up, starting to put on my leggings again. "We're not telling them about this, right?"

"We don't have to. I mean, Josh already knows anyway," Danny replied, staring up at the peak of the tent. "Although Sam has been teasing me about you for a little while now."

I looked at him, confused. "What? Really?"

"Yeah, did you think no one else noticed?" Danny asked. "We were basically spending entire nights together."

I smiled, shaking my head. "God, we're idiots."

Danny pulled me down into him. "Maybe," he said and kissed me softly. "But at least we're idiots together."

I smiled again at that and reached for one of the blankets that was still rolled up at the edge of the tent, pulling it over the two of us. I rested my head on Danny's chest and could feel his heart still beating a little quickly--I wrapped my arm around his waist and closed my eyes, the only sound being the fire still crackling gently outside the tent.

Danny softly ran his fingers through my hair; I sighed.

"Hey Danny," I said, looking up at him.

"Yeah?"

"Did you want me to come camping?"

Danny smiled. "I may have asked Josh to ask you to come."

I lifted my head up. "Are you serious?"

Danny laughed. "Yeah, I did. Not that he didn't want you to," he said. "But I asked him to invite you."

"Oh my god," I exclaimed, laughing then myself. "That's why he was all, 'just tell Danny how you feel.'"

"Well, it worked."

"I'm insane? Josh is insane," I declared and laid back down.

"You're both insane," Danny replied, tilting my chin up to kiss me. "One of the reasons why I love you two."

I smiled against his lips. "You love me like you love Josh?"

Danny's eyes widened for a second but then he chuckled. "I think I love you a little differently," he said and kissed me again.

I tried to imprint that moment in my mind as best I could--the softness of his lips and the softness of his words--as I smiled again.

I felt like I had fallen for a prince.


	8. Ceremonial

"Let's just stay in bed," Danny said softly, his eyes still shut as he clung to me with his whole body--my backside was pressed against him, my ass conveniently backed up into his morning wood. His hair was all over the side of my face, smelling like the herbal shampoo he always used, and his hands were warm over my chest.

"I wish," I replied, truly not wanting to move. "But I have to get up. Some of us have classes to go to."

I could feel Danny smirk, his lips gently pressed against the back of my head.

"A couple more weeks," he murmured. "Then you'll graduate."

I nuzzled his forearm. "Yeah, finally."

Danny groaned a little and wrapped me up even tighter in his arms. "Just take the day off."

I smiled. "I can't, Danny," I said and tried to pull his arms away from me but that only made him latch on even more. "Come on, I gotta get up. So do you, you have work."

"Not until noon."

"Well, you'll have a nice early start to the day then."

Danny grumbled in response; with a little more effort I managed to maneuver my way out of his arms, which made him groan again. I knelt on the mattress and moved Danny's hair away from his face to kiss his forehead.

"Josh is picking me up today," I told him as I stood back up and stretched. "So if you get up now, you can see him."

"I see Josh all the time," Danny mumbled into the pillow.

"Danny, if you get up now, I'll make it up to you later," I said, starting to get undressed for the shower.

Danny sat up a little. "You could make it up to me now."

"I have to get ready," I reminded him, smirking. "But I promise--later. Come on, Josh is bringing coffee."

"At least he's good for something," Danny grumbled, smirking to himself as he got out of bed.

I hit him on the arm. "He's good for a lot more than that but, yes, Josh's shining moment today is him bringing us coffee."

"Can we at least shower together?" Danny asked, nonchalantly running his hand over his face and stretching his free arm behind him.

"As much as I'd love that," I said. "I actually have to be productive in the shower today."

Danny looked at me quizzically.

I sighed. "I would like to shave--you know, it's getting warmer out."

Danny waved that away as he started to head out of the room. "We could save so much water," he called back.

We had been together just over a year. It was sort of hard for me to believe--we had been friends for so long, then fuck-buddies, then a couple, and it was all a bit of a whirlwind. Josh and I were graduating soon; Danny had taken the year off to work and focus on the band; Sam was chugging along through sophomore year; and Jake was still being the amateur rock god he was probably meant to be.

I knew Danny wanted to move in with me and, honestly, it would help immensely with rent. Not that I was paying a whole lot, but it was still a big chunk of change for one person who was a full-time student. I had my part-time job and leftover money from school loans to help but it was tight--still, I wasn't sure if I was ready for Danny to be in my space all the time. He had already made himself comfortable enough, I felt, and I needed my own space sometimes. When you live with someone, you can't just tell them to leave.

I was finishing getting dressed when I heard what sounded like Josh just burst through the door, already chattering away.

"My neighbors must hate you," I said as I walked out of my bedroom, already eyeing the cups of coffee in the tray Josh was holding. "They can probably hear you from the parking lot."

Josh grinned and laughed. "It's a beautiful morning," he replied. "I hope they can appreciate it as much as I do."

"Thanks for the coffee," I told him, taking mine, the side of the cup scrawled with "2 cream" in black Sharpie. "And the ride. Savin' me some gas."

"You always get me back," Josh reminded me. "And vice versa." He handed Danny a cup of coffee before taking his own and leaned back against the kitchen counter.

"What time do you get out today?" Danny asked me.

"Well, my last class ends at 12:30," I said. "Josh's ends at 1:45, so he'll be bringing me back. But I have work at 3:30."

Danny's face fell a little. "Oh, I forgot. Til when?"

"I'm closing," I answered and Danny's face fell even more, almost into a full-blown pout, to which I said: "But I'll see you after, right?"

"After work, we're practicing," Danny said, referring to him, Josh, Jake and Sam.

I took a sip of the coffee, instantly burning my tongue, and winced.

"That's right," I replied, feeling my own face fall a bit, but I went over to Danny and smiled, running my hand through his still-messy hair. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then, right? Just lock the door when you leave."

"Always," Danny assured me, smiling back a little.

I leaned in and kissed him, brushing his hair behind his neck--his lips somehow always impossibly soft--and promptly ignored the cooing from Josh behind us, although I did shoot him a glare when I pulled back from Danny.

"Okay. Gotta go," I said to Danny, giving him another quick kiss before grabbing my backpack. "Have fun at work today."

"Well, I'll try," Danny said. "You too. Josh--no speeding."

Josh snickered. "Whatever you say, Daniel."

-

It was becoming increasingly more difficult to focus on my classes with graduation getting closer and closer. I really just wanted to be done, as did everyone else I knew, and get on with life. I wasn't sure what sort of jobs I could get with an English degree--nor did anyone else, apparently, as most of the adults I spoke with hadn't been encouraging at all--but whatever it was had to be better than my job at a used book store. I really thought I would love it but the owner was barely around to manage the place and, when he was, he was, quite frankly, a real dick.

As I sat in my Russian literature class, mindlessly taking notes, I thought about how I really didn't want to go to work after school. I would much rather go visit Danny at his job, maybe get a quick dinner before he went to practice with the guys, and I would go home and do homework. Instead I knew I was facing an evening of unorganized and overflowing shelves, the intense smell of mildew, and maybe a handful of customers.

When I got out of class at 12:30, I thought of Danny at work, hunched over crates of records--it was a little ironic that we had both somehow gotten jobs we wanted, but mine just ended up sort of sucking. I was glad Danny liked where he worked--hell, he and the guys had been going to that record store for so long that they knew all the staff and pretty much all the stock. I was a little envious, I had to admit, but ultimately I was grateful we both had any work at all.

-

"You seriously don't want to go to graduation?" Josh asked me from the driver's seat, the newly-budding trees blurring past us as we made our way out of the campus parking lot.

"Not really," I replied and reached into my backpack for a pamphlet. "I mean, it lists the prices for the cap and gown right here--I don't wanna pay for that."

"You have to go," Josh protested.

"Why do I have to go?"

"It's ceremonial," Josh replied, waving his hand in the air as he tried to get the words right. "It's--it's a rite of passage, literally."

"I can't believe you want to go," I said. "Josh, it just seems like such a pain in the ass. Plus, I'm sure my parents will survive without them seeing me walk across--"

"Danny wants you to go," Josh interrupted, flashing a big grin at me.

I paused for a moment before simply asking, "Really?"

"Yeah, really," Josh said. "He's excited for you."

I felt myself blush, felt the same butterflies in my stomach that I had first felt so long ago.

"Alright," I said after another pause, ignoring Josh's goofy grin. "I'll consider it. Mostly because you're so keen on going, though."

"It'll be fine. Dare I say, perhaps even fun," Josh told me, turning the volume of his car stereo up, the folk music blaring, and I stopped myself from laughing about the absurdity of that.

"I'll have to trust you on that," I mumbled, looking at the pamphlet again. "Maybe my parents will get me the stupid cap and gown."


	9. Deal

My prediction about work had been right--Jason, the owner, left 10 minutes after I showed up, leaving a huge mess of children’s books to go through, organize, and somehow find places for them on the already-overflowing shelves. I really didn’t know how the store made any real money--I honestly wondered if Jason was paying me from his own pocket half the time--considering that we were always getting books in, but never really getting any out.  
  
I sat down on the slightly grubby green carpeting and started to go through the books, first sorting them by general topic and then by author’s last name. It was tedious work when you got down to it, only made tolerable by the merchandise being, in fact, books. I even liked looking through the kids books--it brought me back to my own childhood, before I ever had to read things like A Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovich. Children’s books were fun, not bleak and depressing.  
  
I had to remove and move around a lot of other books to make room for the kid’s books, but I had maybe half of them in order and on the shelf when I heard the doorbell chime. It brought me out of my colorful, alphabetical trance and I looked up to see Danny in the doorway.  
  
“Hey,” I said to him, a huge smile already on my face, the giddiness of someone, anyone, let alone Danny, walk through the door overwhelming me. “What are you doing here?”  
  
Danny looked down at me, then scanned the piles of books. “I got out early,” he explained. “It’s been slow today.”  
  
“Here too,” I told him. “I’ve been working on this since I got in. You’re my first customer.”  
  
He handed me the Dr. Pepper that was in his hand as he sat down on the floor with me. “Glad I can offer my patronage,” Danny joked. “Man, a lotta kid’s books.”  
  
“Seriously. All from one person. I think Jason should’ve told them to bring them to a library or something.”  
  
Danny picked up a copy of a book of dinosaurs and started to flip through it. “Did anything else good come in?” he asked.  
  
“Just you,” I said and, when he looked up, I winked.  
  
Danny smiled and leaned forward, kissing me softly on the lips. “What do you think I’d sell for here?” he teased.  
  
“Hard to say,” I replied, smirking a little. “I don’t think I’d be able to give you up, personally.”  
  
Danny smiled again and moved closer to me, cradling the side of my face in his hand as he pressed me back against the bookshelf. He kissed me again, slowly and softly, though his other hand quickly moved to between my legs--he grabbed my inner thigh as he slid his tongue into my mouth.  
  
I allowed Danny to press himself into me, his chest firm and warm, and I met his tongue with my own, our muscles rolling over one another’s. We stayed like that for a minute before I realized again where I was.  
  
“Danny,” I said, placing my hand on his chest. “We can’t do this now.”  
  
“I thought you were gonna make it up to me,” Danny replied slyly, going in for another kiss.  
  
I relented for a moment, kissing him back, and then pulled away again.  
  
“Can’t do this here,” I told him again. “I work here. What if someone came in?”  
  
“Alright,” Danny said, leaning back on his palms. “That’s fair.”  
  
“But I promise you,” I said, crawling in between his legs. “I will make it up to you tomorrow. I don’t have class.” I kissed him, my hand against his chest once more, my fingers laid over his sternum.  
  
“If you gave me a key,” Danny said, lacing his fingers with mine. “I could just come over after practice and spend the night.”  
  
“I’d be asleep,” I protested. “So that wouldn’t work. I’d see a tall, dark man in my bedroom and freak the fuck out.”  
  
Danny laughed. “You wouldn’t know it was me?”  
  
“Half-asleep and disoriented? I doubt it.”  
  
Danny chuckled again and sighed. “Well, I don’t wanna keep distracting you from work,” he said with a sigh. “And since I can’t really help--legally--I guess I’ll go.”  
  
As he got up I latched onto his ankle. “I wish you could stay,” I said, looking up at him. “It’s so boring here.”  
  
“Just a few more hours,” Danny reminded me, crouching down to kiss my forehead. “I’ll text you later, okay?”  
  
“Okay,” I said, releasing his ankle. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  


I ended up cashing a couple people out though none were big sales by any means, however it wasn’t until 45 minutes before we closed that someone rumbled through the door, a huge cardboard box cradled in their arms.  
  
I went from behind the counter to help them, sticking my arms out in hopes of catching the teetering box, but the woman carrying it steadied it herself, lifting up her knee to adjust the bottom of the box before bringing it to the counter. She set it down with a breathy exhale.  
  
“Sorry,” she said. “It was heavier than I thought.”  
  
“It’s fine, I’m glad you made it to the counter,” I said, already peering into the box. “What are they?”  
  
“Some art books, some film books,” the woman told me, brushing her hair back from her face then smoothing down her shirt. She had clearly come from some sort of “real” job. “Some music books, too.”  
  
I raised my eyebrows and peered inside again, pulling the flaps back. I immediately saw a biography on Johnny Cash and then a book of Asian art--I pulled out the art book and looked it over.  
  
“This looks like cool stuff,” I mused. “Are you some sort of collector, or--”  
  
“Sort of,” the woman replied, smiling. “I’m a journalist by day, a reseller by night, I suppose. So this is some of the stuff I couldn’t sell, some stuff I’m trying to rehome personally.”  
  
“So you’re reselling to us,” I replied, chuckling a little.  
  
“I know Jason,” the woman said. “He’s always in the market for art books. Is he here now?”  
  
“Unfortunately not. He usually leaves when I get in.”  
  
The woman nodded, raising an eyebrow, as she glanced at the floor. “Of course he does.”  
  
“Fortunately for you, though, he lets me buy books from people in his absence.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
I nodded.  
  
The woman smiled and gestured to the box. “Then please, be my guest,” she said. “Hopefully something will pique your interest.”  
  
I lifted the first couple layers of books out of the box and laid them out--more biographies, some books of classical music, a few more art books. Underneath that there were a bunch of old film books, their covers a little worn, the spines slightly tattered and creased, the corners of the pages curled.  
  
“Wow, these are cool,” I remarked, pulling a couple out. “I have a friend who’s a film major. I think he’d like some of these.”  
  
“Oh? You can have those, if you want,” the woman said, leaning against the counter as I studied the books. “I’d love to know they’re going to someone who’s going to appreciate them.”  
  
I looked up at her. “No, I have to give you something--”  
  
“Well, check out the rest,” she replied. “Anything else, you--or rather, Jason--want, you can buy from me. Deal?”  
  
“Deal.”  
  
After examining the rest of the books and reexamining the list of guidelines Jason had for book buybacks, I opened the cash drawer and counted out what I--Jason--owed our last customer of the night.  
  
The woman nestled the bills into her wallet and slipped that back into her bag. “Thanks,” she said, smiling at me again. “You’ve been really helpful.”  
  
“Thanks to you, too,” I told her, tracing my fingertips over the film books. “My friend is gonna love these. And I might have him come in and check out some of the music books, too--he’s in a band.”  
  
“Oh?” the woman replied, perking up a little from the counter.  
  
“Yeah, him and his brothers and my boyfriend,” I said. “A rock band. I think they’re great. Of course, I’m biased.”  
  
“The journal I write for is looking to start doing a column on new, local music acts,” the woman said. “Would they be interested in possibly doing an interview? Maybe even taking a few pictures?”  
  
I felt myself perk up then, my heart racing a little. “Yeah, totally, they’d love that,” I said. “That would be amazing.”  
  
“Are they playing shows anywhere?”  
  
“They’re playing a show on Friday night. I can’t remember where, but it’s Friday.”  
  
The woman grabbed her wallet out of her bag again and rifled through it, pulling out a crisp white business card. “Have them contact me before the show,” she said, handing it to me. “We’ll check it out.”  
  
I stared at the card in my hands incredulously--I couldn’t wait to tell the guys.  
  
“Definitely,” I said, snapping out of my stupor. “Thanks so much, they’re gonna lose their minds.”  
  
The woman laughed. “I’m looking forward to it. Hey, thanks for the help again,” she said, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder and heading for the door. “Have a great night.”  
  
“You too,” I said after her, looking back down at the card. I already felt like I was going to burst but I wanted to wait until the next day to tell all of them--I couldn’t wait to see the looks on all of their faces.


	10. In Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut...sorry...not sorry.

The next day I was still on the verge of erupting at any moment, desperately aching to tell Danny, Josh, Sam and Jake about the news.

"I have something exciting to tell you," I said to Danny as we both gathered our dirty plates from my table, setting them in the sink.

Danny turned to me after he rinsed his hands, drying them on the hand towel hanging from the stove: "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I replied, smirking to myself, unable to have any sort of poker face.

Danny waited for a few seconds then scoffed. "Well, come on, tell me," he urged.

"I can't yet," I said, leaning against the fridge. "I have to tell you and Josh and Sam and Jake at the same time."

Danny raised an eyebrow, looking a little puzzled.

I responded by throwing my arms up and walking away. "Can't tell you yet," I called back.

"You have to now," Danny replied, coming up behind me, both of us standing in the tiny hallway outside my bedroom. "You brought it up."

"It's because I've been dying to say something," I replied. "But I really do have to tell all of you together."

Danny sighed and put his palm against the wall behind me, his arm outstretched next to me. "You're holding out a lot right now," he said. "First it was yesterday morning, then at the bookstore, now this?"

I cocked my head to the side, considering all of that.

"I can make some of it up to you now," I told him, my eyes traveling down his body before meeting his eye contact again.

"Okay. Get in there," Danny said, removing his hand from the wall and jutting his chin at the open doorway of my bedroom.

I turned, smiling to myself, already turned on by Danny's new-found dominance, and stood in the middle of my bedroom, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him.

He brushed past me and stood in front of the bed, his back to it, looking at me again.

"Get on your knees," he ordered, though I could see a faint blush grow on his cheeks and across his nose.

I bit my lip to fight back the grin, humored and delighted by his dominance still laced with shyness, and followed his order, getting on my knees in front of him.

"What now, sir?" I asked, and my tone on the word "sir," tinged with sarcasm, caused both of us to laugh.

"Hey, I'm trying here," Danny objected.

"I know," I said. "And it's hot. Keep going."

Danny laughed a little to himself and ran his hand through his hair before seeming to compose himself again, his face straightening, and he asked, "What do you want?"

I grabbed his calf, squeezing the muscle. "You," I answered.

"More specifically?"

I sighed, squeezing his calf harder. "I want your--" I paused--it was weird to have to dirty talk on command, especially with the order coming from him. He really was showing a new side of himself.

"I want your cock, Danny," I finished, feeling my face grow hot.

Danny bent down and grabbed a handful of my hair, tugging by my ear, and kissed me deep and hard, literally taking my breath away. I steadied myself with his calf, my other hand going to the fly of his pants. I shimmied his pants down so his briefs were just exposed around his crotch--somehow he was already a little hard. He must really have been frustrated after all.

I moved my hands up to his outer thighs, gripping the firm flesh through his pants, and pressed my mouth against his bulge, tonguing it. Danny sighed a quiet noise of approval and staggered back for a second--I took that as an opportunity to quickly slide down his pants in their entirety, then his briefs, and shoved him back onto my bed.

His hands went for my hair as I went for him, crouched between his legs. I tore his pants off him entirely, tossing them to the side, and placed a kiss on the inside of his thigh before my lips ended up around him, my tongue sliding underneath the head, sucking.

As he steadily grew in my mouth, Danny gripped a handful of my hair and thrust, just once, upwards into my mouth and I flinched, caught off guard, bracing my hands on his thighs. I pulled away, saliva dripping from my mouth onto him, and looked up at him--his eyes already looked glassy, his brows slightly furrowed, his lids a little heavy. He licked his lips, parting them slightly, as he coerced me back down.

I let him gently buck into my mouth for a few moments before I commenced my own strategy, allowing the saliva to coat his entire shaft, me working him with my hand, sucking on the head. Danny groaned, his hips involuntarily bucking again, then pulled me up and into him, flattening his back against my bed as I got on top of him.

Danny pulled my head down, our mouths crashing together before we found the right momentum. I grinded my crotch into his bare hard-on as I sucked on his bottom lip; he grabbed my ass, pushing me down into him even harder.

I stood up, quickly lifting his shirt over his head and letting it fall behind me. I ran my hands down his bare chest, kissing him, until he stood up and pushed me back onto the bed.

He smiled as he kissed me again, his hand squeezing my breast. "No bra," Danny remarked as my own hands tugged off my pants, hurriedly kicking them away from my ankles and onto the floor. He lifted my shirt off me and kept one hand firm around my breast while the other went down to my crotch.

My breath hitched as Danny just grazed two fingertips over me, the sensation sending me shivers even through the barrier of my underwear. He continued to run his fingers up and down, adding extra pressure when he got to my clit.

"Please, Danny," I practically whimpered, spreading my legs wider.

"Please what?" he replied, continuing.

I pulled him into a kiss. "Please fuck me," I said, almost feeling too turned on to feel bashful--even after more than a year, Danny had never been big into dirty talking, let alone being so in charge.

He abruptly tore off my underwear and flipped me around, pinning me to the bed with his hand on the back of my neck. Danny slipped two fingers inside me, slick with his saliva, making me part my legs.

"Oh my god," I moaned, his fingers working their way in so deep, aching when, after a minute, he took them away to get a condom from my bedside table.

I peered over my shoulder, watching him, admiring how the muscles in his arms and chest moved with even the simplest actions, how his hair had fallen into his face. I looked forward again as he pressed himself against my entrance, letting my face fall to the mattress.

"Fuck, Danny," I moaned as he entered, slowly, him feeling even bigger than usual due to the angle.

"You want it?" he asked, slowly inching in more and more.

I withheld a whine. "Yeah, I want it," I told him, lifting one leg onto the bed so he had more leverage.

Danny grabbed my ass hard as he started to thrust, slow and deep. As he sped up, his thrusts becoming sharper and more shallow, he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me back. I was sort of grateful he didn't see my smile as he did so.

"You like that?" he growled in my ear.

I giggled a little. "Yeah," I replied, purposefully squeezing myself around him.

Danny groaned and gripped my ass so hard I felt like I was going to have bruises in the shape of his fingers; I reached down and gathered some of my own wetness from around him to rub my clit as he kept thrusting, his fingers still entwined in my hair, yanking a little at the root.

"Oh fuck," he exhaled, his grip on my hair loosening. "I'm gonna cum."

"No, no," I said frantically. "Please keep going." I could feel myself getting close, pulsing and tightening around him.

Danny tightened his hand around my hair again, grunting a little as his thrusts quickened and, after a breathy "fuck" from his mouth, his thrusts slowed. I sighed, backing up into him.

"Please, Danny," I begged.

Danny groaned a little but persisted, picking up the pace, removing his hand in my hair to grab my hip--I let my face fall back into the mattress, the world starting to disappear around me, my entire body captivated by him.

He leaned forward, his jaw resting on my shoulder. "Cum for me," he ordered quietly.

I clenched around him and he groaned in my ear quietly--a few more seconds of that, my slick fingers on my clit, and I came, pulsating around him and moaning curse words into the mattress. 

Danny pulled out of me and I nearly fell to the floor, but I steadied myself and flopped back onto the bed, out of breath, and ran my hand through my hair. I lazily wrapped a throw blanket around myself and motioned for him to join me, which he did, lying down next to me.

I wrapped my leg around him, tossing part of the blanket over his waist. "Jesus" I exhaled and planted a tired kiss on his lips.

Danny stretched out, his limbs extending past the bit of blanket, and brushed my hair back. "Now are you gonna tell me the exciting news?"

I rolled onto my back and sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you," I said. "But you have to promise to wait to tell Josh, Sam and Jake until we're all together."

"Okay, I promise."

I turned my head to look at him. "So last night a woman came into the bookstore with a ton of these art books and film books and music books," I explained. "I was telling her about your band--turns out she's a journalist."

Danny raised his eyebrows.

"She wants to see your guys' next show," I said. "And maybe even do an interview with you guys."

He sat up a little. "Really?"

"Yeah, she said they're thinking about doing like, little pieces on new local music."

"Oh my god. That's amazing." Danny laid back down, resting his arm behind his head. "That's so cool. I can't believe it."

"You guys have gotten some pretty good attention already. But this would be your first official interview," I said, sitting up. "I also got a bunch of film books for Josh, so I have to give those to him too."

"He's gonna freak out," he said, laughing and running his hand over his face.

"I can't wait to tell them, seriously," I said and got up, taking the blanket with me.

"You know, you have a habit of doing that," Danny remarked, grabbing his briefs from the floor.

\---

I had been right--the looks on the guy's faces when I told them was priceless, especially Josh, who smiled so big and threw his head back in a laugh, clapping delightedly. It had been well worth the wait.

"We're gonna have to put on our Sunday best," Josh said, pacing around the garage. "We have to really knock their socks off."

"Please wear the velvet pants," I begged him. "And Jake, please wear that fringe jacket."

"I'm going barefoot," Sam announced. "I do not care."

"Should we keep the set list the same?" Danny asked.

"Yes, we should," Josh replied, settling down in a lawn chair.

Danny shrugged.

"I guess we might have to prepare outfits for a photoshoot too," Jake mused.

"Hopefully," Danny said.

"So you guys have to call her," I reminded them, handing Josh the woman's card. "Tomorrow, first thing."

"How could we forget to?" Josh replied, looking down at the card.

"Also, Josh, remember we're going to get our caps and gowns tomorrow, too."

"Yes, yeah, I remember."

Danny looked over at me. "You're going to graduation?"

I sighed. "Josh sort of convinced me."

Danny smiled, first at Josh then at me. "That's awesome."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "I'm not excited," I reminded him. "So I guess I'm glad that you are."

"It's merely a precursor to the party," Josh declared.

"What party?" I asked, turning back to Josh.

"Tyler is having a graduation party," Josh told me. "I must have told you."

"Tyler from your photography class?" I asked. "You didn't tell me."

"Well, everyone's invited," Josh replied.

"Who's everyone?"

"Everyone he knows, I guess," Josh said. "Plus all of us."

"We're not really invited," Sam explained. "But we're going anyway."

"I don't know this Tyler," Jake chimed in. "But if he's supplying beer, I'll be there."

I turned back to Danny. "You're going?"

"I was gonna ask you," Danny said.

"Well, I'm down to go," I said, before I could even allow myself to refuse--I had only met Tyler once because of Josh, and as simultaneously terrible and fun a graduation party sounded, I hoped the fun would outweigh the terrible. "When is it?"

"The night of the ceremony," Josh said.

I exhaled. "Well then, it'll be a full day."

"And a full week now," Josh replied. "We have two days to practice before Friday night's show."

"Alright," I said, getting up from the cooler I was sitting on. "I'm gonna let you guys practice. I have a final paper to work on."

Danny followed me out of the garage and to my car--he ran his hand through his hair, his skin glowing underneath the porch lights.

"Will I see you before Friday?" he asked.

"I'm in class pretty much all day tomorrow," I told him. "And then I have work."

"I can come over after you get out?"

"Okay, I'll see you then," I said, smiling a little.

"Okay," he said, smiling back.

"Are you gonna keep them in line?" I asked, looking at the open garage.

He chuckled. "I'm gonna try."

"Have fun," I said and leaned in to kiss him. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Alright," Danny said after we broke away from each other. "Love you."

"I love you too, Daniel," I said with a smirk, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear.


	11. Stanzas for Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If you are vehemently against even the idea of sexual activity while on your period, you might be turned off by this. There's no mention or even implication of blood but I just thought I'd say it. We're all adults.**

I didn't feel much love, honestly, while I was waiting for Danny to come over. He hadn't told me what time he and the guys would be done--the length of their practices was always unknown--and hadn't answered any of my texts. By 10:00, I was sprawled out on my couch with a documentary about fish on the TV as dull, deep period cramps radiated through my abdomen, and I hadn't even noticed myself dozing off.

The steady vibration of my phone woke me up--Danny was calling and it was 10:45.

"Hey," I answered groggily, tossing the blanket away from me and getting on my feet.

"Hey, I'm outside," he said--I couldn't help but notice the irritation in his voice. "I've been calling you for like 15 minutes."

"Sorry," I replied, headed toward the buzzer on the wall. "I fell asleep."

After I buzzed Danny up I splashed some cold water on my face and, by the time he was inside my apartment, I was back on the couch with a glass of water, still trying to recover from the grogginess of my late-night nap.

"I'm sorry," I said again, gesturing at the TV. "This really relaxed me, apparently."

Danny sighed as he sat down next to me. "If I had a key," he said. "I could just come in."

Not this again, I thought. "I don't like the idea of someone just coming in here while I'm asleep," I said. I was trying to remain composed even through my own irritation, made worse by the hormones raging inside me.

"It wouldn't be 'someone,'" Danny replied. "It would be me."

I took a sip of the water. "I know. I'm sorry," I said, thinking about how it would be a fun drinking game to take a shot whenever I said 'sorry.' "I just--I like my space."

Danny pulled back a little, furrowing his brows for a second.

"I like you in my space," I continued. "But I also like my space."

"I know," he replied quietly. "It's just--it's a _key_."

I sighed, looking at him, at his beautiful and slightly sullen face, before setting the glass down on the coffee table and resting my hand on his thigh.

"You really want a key?" I asked.

"I only want a key if you want me to have a key."

I considered that for a moment--after all, it had been over a year and I needed to compromise--Danny didn't need to move in with me, but he did deserve to have a key. The only one to have a key.

"Okay," I said. "I'll talk to management about it. I don't know if they'll go for it. Maybe I'll have to illegally make one."

Danny laughed a little, sending butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

"Don't do that," he said. "I think I just really wanted to hear you say you'd give me one more than anything."

Danny leaned in and kissed me--I could feel the forgiveness just in the gentleness of it all, his hand going up to caress my cheek, his lips resting on mine until I invited him to pursue the kiss, both of our mouths parting. He moved on top of me, coercing me back against the arm of the couch, resting his knee in between my legs as our mouths continued to move together. He tasted a little bit like weed--I laughed.

"What?" Danny asked.

I reached up and ran my hands through his hair before resting my palms on his cheeks, my fingers trailing through the fine hairs next to his temples.

"You're stoned," I said.

"Not really," he replied. "Not anymore."

"You never get mad, well, like ever, but especially not when you're high."

Danny pouted a little. "I wasn't mad."

"Not mad, you're right," I corrected. "Irritated. Although, it was really hot the other night."

"What was?"

"You--you know, getting all dominant."

Danny smiled. "Yeah?" he replied kissed me again, his hand traveling up under my shirt, kissing my neck, working his mouth down my throat. I lightly gripped his shoulders, my thumbs pressed against his collarbone, the friction of his knee against my crotch teasing me and I couldn't help but slightly grind into him.

He found the sweet spot on my neck, making me moan as he gently bit down then sucked, his tongue warm against my skin.

"Wait," I said when his hand started to slide under the waistband of my sweatpants. "I got my period today."

Danny kept his hand there, his fingers resting just above my clit. "Oh," he said. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good right now," I said, bracing my hands against his chest. "It'll be worse tomorrow. Thank you, though."

"Well," Danny replied, beginning to rub me through my underwear. "Orgasms are supposed to be good for cramps, right?"

I was surprised--we had always abstained from pretty much everything during the first couple days of my period. As much as I wanted Danny to continue, I was still feeling a little groggy and tired--no matter how tempting an orgasm sounded.

I held back a moan. "That's true," I told him. "And as good as that sounds, I'm pretty tired. I kinda just wanna get in bed."

Danny looked a little disappointed but he removed his hand. "Okay."

"I have some reading to do," I went on. "So you can stay out here if you want."

"No, it's okay," Danny replied, moving off me. "You can read me some poems if you want."

I laughed a little. "I can do that," I told him. "Sorry for being so boring tonight."

"You're not," Danny assured me and kissed me.

As I got in bed I watched Danny change--he always kept some clothes at my place, particularly sweats and t-shirts. I ached a little when he stripped from his jeans and replaced them with sweatpants, my eyes trailing over his boxer briefs fitted against his thighs and crotch.

He got in next to me, sighing as he pulled the covers over himself. I settled against the headboard, the book of poetry in hand, and nestled into his shoulder.

"What class is this for?" he asked.

"Romantic poetry," I answered, flipping through the pages. "It's Byron."

"Oh?"

"It's called 'Stanzas for Music,'" I told Danny, looking into his eyes. "I think that's fitting for you."

__

'There be none of beauty's daughters

With a magic like thee'

And like music on the waters

Is thy sweet voice to me:

When, as it its sound were causing

The charmed ocean's pausing,

The waves lie still and gleaming,

And the lulled winds seem dreaming:

And the midnight moon is weaving

Her bright chain o'er the deep;

Whose breast is gently heaving,

As an infant's asleep:

So the spirit bows before thee,

To listen and adore thee,

With a full but soft emotion,

_Like the swell of summer's ocean.'_

"That's beautiful," Danny said after I finished.

"Yeah, I like that one," I agreed, then sighed. "Two more papers to write, two exams I have to go to, then I'm free and clear."

"Did you and Josh get your caps and gowns?"

"Yeah. I'll be surprised if Josh's isn't going to drag on the floor."

Danny laughed. "With his Birkenstocks underneath."

"Of course."

I placed the book on my nightstand and rolled onto my side facing him--I felt like I must have looked exhausted, but Danny looked wide awake.

"What?" Danny asked as I stared at him, half in a daze.

"You seem very awake," I noted.

"I'm fine," Danny replied, smiling a little at me, his arms behind his head.

"Want a massage?"

"Shouldn't I be offering you a massage right now?"

"Maybe. But I'm already sleepy. If I gave you one, maybe you'd be more relaxed."

Danny seemed to think about that for a moment. "Alright, sure," he said and took off his shirt, tossing it over the side of the bed. He rolled over onto his back, tucking his arms underneath the pillow.

I pulled the covers back from us and straddled him, my legs wrapped around his ass, conveniently enough. I brushed his hair away from his shoulder blades and started working there, palming the dense muscles, his skin so warm in my hands.

"Does anything hurt?" I asked.

"Right now?"

"In general."

"Well, sometimes I pull my right shoulder from drumming."

I transitioned my hands to his right shoulder, working that area, gripping and rubbing until I felt his muscle become more malleable in my hands.

"Any better?" I asked then.

"Actually yeah, a little."

I smiled to myself--it was hard not to want Danny then and, quite frankly, being on my period often only made me want him more. Still, it was just nice to feel his body, the muscles he'd cultivated through drumming and hiking, plus blessed with good genes. It was also nice to see his face relax, his long dark lashes laid against his cheek and his hair brushed back from his face, his skin tan and glowing.

Except my crotch was pressed against his ass and it was taking a lot of willpower to not outright hump him.

I tried to channel that energy into the massage, moving my way down from his shoulders and between his shoulder blades to his lower back, moving myself from his ass to straddle his thighs. Of course, that meant my hands were right _above_ his ass.

"Are you excited for tomorrow night?" I asked gently, keeping my hands moving along his skin.

"Yeah," Danny answered, a little sleepily. "Josh and Jake were brutal today. Plus Sam just makes things worse."

I laughed. "Don't say that."

"Well, he instigates things," Danny replied. "Or he gets just as stubborn as them and then we don't get anything done."

"You always were the peacekeeper." I kneaded my fist against his lower back, right in the dip between his hips, then felt my other hand resting firmly on his ass.

Danny chuckled against the pillow. "You sure you won't wanna do anything tonight?"

I moved my hand up to his back. "It's not that I don't _want_ to do anything," I explained. "But--you know."

Danny twisted himself around a bit, hooking his arm around me. "Come here," he said, pulling me down into him. I flopped to the side, leaning against the headboard, as he sat up on his knees, grabbing my face and kissing me sloppily, and I immediately let him slide his tongue into my mouth.

I ran my hands down his arms, my fingers running over the defined muscles of his biceps, the dips of his triceps, then down his chest, pausing at his abdomen to slide my palms around his waist. I wanted him--I wanted him bad.

He held my face while we kissed and his other hand moved down my body, sliding past my sweatpants again and then past my underwear, his fingers against me making my body quiver and my breath hitch in my chest.

"Is this okay?" Danny asked in my ear before kissing down my jaw.

"Yeah," I breathed, relishing in the feeling of the gentleness of his fingers rubbing me, then rolled onto my back, coercing Danny on top of me. I always liked to look at his face as much as possible.

"What?" Danny asked with a smirk as he continued, as I kept looking up at him.

"You're so fucking beautiful," I told him, pulling him down into a kiss.

Danny kissed me back tenderly, his fingers working even more tenderly. "You're beautiful," he said, rubbing in soft, circular motions and then kissing my neck. "Your skin is so soft."

I bucked against his hand, pawing at his chest as I continued to gaze at him--he had that same look of concentration as when he drummed, with his lips slightly parted, brow furrowed, his hair falling in his face as his head tipped down to observe his own hand under my pants. I brushed his hair back and kissed him again.

"Fuck--please," I moaned into his mouth, the friction starting to ripple through my whole body and, when Danny removed his hand briefly to get some spit onto his fingers, I whined but then his fingers were back, slick and moving so easily over me.

"Does it feel better?" he asked.

"It feels so fucking good," I answered, reaching one hand back to squeeze his ass--there was no point in trying to contain myself then. I spread my legs in desperation, wanting to feel his fingers over as much as me as possible, and my heart rate started to speed up.

"That's it baby," Danny said quietly.

I grabbed his free hand, lacing our fingers together and squeezed his as I came, my other hand going for his waist, digging my fingers into his skin. "Oh my fucking god," I moaned, everything tightening and pulsing, my breathing becoming rapid and heavy.

"Fuck," Danny uttered, his movements slowing down, his fingertips grazing along my clit as he took his hand away. He pressed his body against mine and kissed me, his fingers tangling in my hair.

When he pulled back, I looked at him again, looking into his golden eyes. He was so full of love--he was one of the kindest people I had ever met and I couldn't imagine my life without him. I couldn't imagine my life without Josh, Jake or Sam either, but especially not Danny. 

"I really love you, Danny," I said, my chest still heaving a bit. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him back down into me again. I loved the feeling of his weight on top of me. "I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too," Danny said, his lips against my neck.

We stayed like that for a minute before Danny rolled over, wrapping the covers around himself. I shut off the light and nestled myself against him, my forehead against his chest, breathing in the scent of his skin. He slung his arm over me and sighed--I wished we could always be like that, our limbs intertwined, me being able to feel his heartbeat.


	12. Some Page

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgot to post this when I posted it on wattpad imsosorry

Danny, Josh, Jake and Sam all looked so cute onstage even as they sort of struggled to set up their equipment in the small space. Jake was wearing the black fringe jacket, which I loved;Josh had gone for a pair of tight navy blue pants, basically leggings, with an almost-matching sleeveless shirt; Sam was wearing a pair of jeans that weren't quite bell bottoms but were close enough, the hems all ratty and torn, and a shiny slate grey button-down which was, in fact, completely unbuttoned; Danny, I thought anyway, by far looked the best, adorned in these tight black pants that I loved and a deep purple, faux-suede vest, also entirely unbuttoned and his bare skin shown from underneath.

I could have pounced on him right there.

Despite that, I wanted to hang back and let them all concentrate and get in the zone. I sat myself down at a small table off to the side, situated so I had a perfect view but I was also left somewhat in the shadows. As I sipped my vodka cranberry I took an overview of the bar--it was a decent crowd for still early-ish, even on a Friday night, everyone seeming as though they were in good spirits. It didn't seem like anyone was really paying attention to the band setting up, that was until my eyes landed on the woman I met at my work. She caught my eye and smiled--notebook in hand, she made her way over to me.

"Hey, we met earlier this week," she said, still smiling. "You work with Jason."

"I do," I replied. "Bridget, right?"

"Right," she replied, extending her hand, which I shook. Bridget then turned to the stage. "So, that's Greta Van Fleet?"

"Yeah," I said, following her eyes to the boys. "That's them. Josh--the film buff--is the one with the curly hair."

"It's actually perfect that you're here," Bridget said, looking back down at me. "I talked to Josh on the phone but it's nice to put faces to names."

"Well, Sam is the one who's barefoot," I went on. "That's his thing. Jake is the guitarist, which I'm sure you've gathered, and Danny is the drummer." As I said it I looked at him--he had tied a paisley bandana around his forehead--I bit back a grin, filled with pride.

Bridget nodded. "They all have very distinct looks. Yet they also go together," she observed, looking them over again before turning back to me. "I'm going to get a drink, do you need another?"

"I'm alright now, thanks."

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna go find myself a good spot." Bridget smiled. "I'm looking forward to this."

So was I--I was ready to see Josh jive onstage, ready to see Jake's hips gyrations; I was ready to see Sam's uncensored facial expressions as he strummed his fingers across his bass; but most of all, I was ready to see Danny going wild on the drums, the veins of his biceps prominent as he pounded, even under the terrible, dingy yellow lighting of the bar.

Greta Van Fleet opened with "Black Smoke Rising," a song I had heard a number of times before--it never got old though, not with Josh's belting vocals and Jake's slick guitar riffs, all while Sam pranced around his tiny corner of the stage and Danny's hair blew around himself while he drummed like a madman.

I tapped my foot and nodded my head with the music, still working on my drink. The rest of the bar was pretty receptive to them too, even amidst all the chatter. I noticed a few women looking on affectionately, their eyes gazing over the guys, and I thought, _Yeah same_.

Bridget seemed to be into it too, also tapping her foot against the bar, the notebook laid out and open in front of her--I wondered what she had scribbled inside it.

The band closed with their cover of "A Change Is Gonna Come" and, much to my delight, almost everyone in the bar clapped at the conclusion. It wasn't that people at their gigs weren't into the music--it just was a bit of a challenge when everyone was focused on drinking instead. I hoped that the blurb Bridget might write about Greta Van Fleet would allow them to expand their venues and play for people who actually came out to see _them_.

I caught Josh's eye after the last note and he winked--I winked back. Then I got Danny, who was glistening with sweat, and we smiled at each other. As Bridget approached all four of them I took the opportunity to go outside after getting another drink to get some air, and leave them to their business.

It was a nice night--a gentle breeze blew through the darkened sky, gently shaking the leaves of the trees that lined the outdoor patio area. I sat at one of the picnic tables, looking up at the starless sky.

"Hey," a voice said from off to the side, and I turned to see a somewhat familiar looking guy, fair-haired and tall, holding a glass of beer.

I cocked my head to the side. "Hey?"

"Tyler," the guy said, approaching me.

It took me a minute to register who he was. "Oh, right, Tyler," I repeated. "You know Josh."

"Yeah. He mentioned he had a show tonight."

I really didn't like Tyler standing over and in front of me, but it seemed awkward to get up and just stand there in front of him. The whole thing felt awkward--some bar I'd only been to once before with Josh--where we both had way too many vodka shots and he ended up puking on the sidewalk outside--Tyler being basically a stranger that I then had to interact with, all while I was just dying to know what Bridget said.

"What did you think?" I asked.

"I liked it," Tyler replied, sitting down next to me. "Reminds me of Led Zeppelin."

I laughed--how many times did we all need to hear that one?

"Yeah," I said. "A lot of people say that."

Tyler nodded, bringing the class to his lips, silent for a moment before asking, "Are you excited about graduation?"

"About the ceremony? No, not really," I answered. "Josh is the one who really convinced me to go. What about you?"

Tyler shrugged. "I feel like it's something you just sorta have to do," he said. "But I'm excited to be done with school."

"Me too. What are you studying?"

"Graphic design."

"Oh, so you'll be fine."

Tyler laughed. "I hope so. You'd be surprised." He took another sip of his beer. "You coming to my party?"

"I think so. Josh invited me but I'm really only going because my boyfriend is going, although I'm not sure he got an official invite."

Tyler looked confused. "Who's your boyfriend?"

"Danny," I said. "The drummer."

"Oh, okay. Josh never mentioned that."

Suddenly I felt an immense sense of adoration. "Josh talks about me?"

"Yeah. I feel like I kind of know you personally just through him."

I smiled to myself. "We're good friends."

My eyes went from the ground to the back door swinging open and there was Danny, his bare skin a little shiny with sweat, his hair haphazard around him even under the bandana. I smiled even more, my heart fluttering as he walked over.

I stood up, immediately reaching out and fussing with his hair. "You guys were amazing," I said. "So fucking good."

Danny smiled back, placing his hands on my waist. "Bridget's gonna interview us," he said. "We're gonna be in her journal."

"That's amazing! When?"

"Monday, we're doing it."

"That's so cool," I replied, still trying to fix his hair. "I'm so excited for you guys."

"It was all you, babe," Danny said and kissed me.

When we broke away from each other, Tyler was standing up again. "Hey," he said to Danny. "Good show."

"Thanks, man," Danny replied.

"So you're both coming to my party?" Tyler asked, gesturing to us with her beer glass.

Danny and I looked at each other, then back at Tyler.

"Yeah," Danny said. "We'll both be there."

Tyler took a sip and nodded. "Alright. Well, I'll see you guys then," he said and made his way back inside the bar.

"You were amazing, Danny," I said, looking back into his eyes, dark and gleaming. "Seriously."

He smiled a little bashfully, glancing down at the ground. "Thanks," he said and kissed me again, his hands sliding lower and lower on my waist.

"Oh boy," came Jake's voice from behind us and, when I looked over, he was shielding his eyes, a smirk on his face.

"Jake, shut up," I said, rolling my eyes.

The smirk was still plastered on his face as he sat down on top of the picnic table, setting his glass down and lighting a cigarette. I stood next to him, extending my hand silently, and he placed the pack in my hand.

"Are you excited?" I asked with the cigarette between my lips, flicking the lighter.

"Yeah, definitely," Jake answered, taking the lighter back from me and returning it to his pocket, along with the cigarettes. "It'll be great to have more people just--just hear about us."

"And _literally_ hear us," Danny commented. "Eventually."

"We'll gather masses," Jake mused, smiling behind his cigarette.

"You will," I agreed.

Josh and Sam burst through the door then, Josh leading and Sam still somehow allowed to be barefoot.

Josh locked me in a hug. "What'd you think?"

"Incredible," I replied, hovering the cigarette above his head so I didn't burn him. "And I hear you're doing the interview on Monday."

Josh pulled back from me. "We are. It's official," he declared and snatched my cigarette from me, taking a drag. "We're gonna be on the front pages. Well, maybe not front--but on _some_ page."


	13. DD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad at updating here. My Wattpad has this ~and more~ at the ready.

The entire ceremony, I was itching to take off the cap and gown--not only were they both hot around me but they were hideous. I had been looking around at everyone else the whole time to see if anyone else felt as uncomfortable as I did, especially when we all had to crowd in the basketball court, forced to bask in each other's sweat.

Josh, of course, couldn't have been bothered. He zipped around from person to person, the tassels of his cap dangling over his temple, a huge smile on his face. I tried to cling to the people I knew but I couldn't take my focus off the heat of the room, the slippery fabric over my clothes, and the anticipation of just getting the whole thing over with.

What made it all worth it was seeing everyone in the stands--I managed to get a few glimpses as we all marched to our seats. My parents looked ecstatic, my brother looked mystified by the mass of students in front of him, and then there was Josh's family, including Jake and Sam, all clapping and smiling. I would've bet money that both Jake and Sam were stoned out of their minds.

I couldn't help but smile myself when my eyes landed on Danny, sitting next to Sam. He looked so happy--happier than I must have looked. Even from afar I could see the adoration--it made me feel immensely loved and insecure all at once.

When we sat down Josh nudged my arm, leaning into me to ask, "You ready?"

"No more secret smoke sessions," I reminded him.

He smiled. "We'll find a way to keep those going."

I laughed. "Then I guess I'm ready."

\---

"I could've been DD," Danny said to me as all of us got out of my car, parked on the street outside Tyler's house. "You deserve to celebrate."

"Nah, it's okay," I said, navigating through the rest of the parked cars, Josh leading the way to the door. "I'll have a drink or two. But I don't feel like getting drunk tonight. Besides, Sam, you brought weed, right?"

Sam raised an eyebrow and smiled. "What do you think?"

I turned to Danny and gestured at Sam. "See?"

Danny shrugged. "Alright. Well, don't get mad when you have to hold my hair back."

"No, none of that tonight, Daniel," Sam said.

"This house seems small for this many people," Jake noted, looking up at the exterior.

"Yeah, we're gonna make a mess," Sam replied.

"Josh is gonna make a mess," I said loudly.

Josh turned around, ready to defend himself, but then shrugged and turned back to open the door.

The music was booming so loudly I couldn't even detect what it was--then I realized it wasn't even the music that was so loud, it was all the separate conversations. People were crowded in all corners, even by the front door, which Josh had to politely shove to get us all through. The living area that we entered was nearly full, everyone holding drinks, and the dining room and kitchen beyond were clogged with bodies.

Danny grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles.

I was tempted to ask Sam to go out and smoke right away but I knew I needed to give myself a chance to acclimate first, mingle a little. The guys did it all so effortlessly--I envied Josh's unabashed silliness; I envied Jake's brazen confidence; I wished I could be like Sam, floating around and not giving a fuck; even Danny, the most soft-spoken of them all, had the natural ability to get along with everyone and he didn't even have to try. I realized that helped me though. All of them, but especially Danny, forced me to be more open, to try and engage more.

It didn't take long before Josh and Jake were swept away into the kitchen. Sam was still with Danny and I, which I was grateful for until he grabbed a half-empty bottle of gin from the dining room table.

"Shots," he announced, pointing it at both of us.

Danny held his hands up. "Shots of gin--Sam, I don't know."

Sam looked miffed. He lowered the bottle down to his side, then shrugged his shoulders and stood up a little straighter. "Shots," he said again. "We're doing 'em. In celebration."

I sighed but looked around the table for some shot glasses anyway, though I was only able to find some plastic cups. I handed one to Danny and held the other two in my hands.

"Sam," I said as he started to pour. "Shot level. Not half the cup, not a quarter, it's a shot."

Sam silently mocked me as he poured, moving to Danny's last. I glanced down into the cups--he had definitely poured more than a shot.

Danny held his cup out first. "Cheers," he said, looking at me. "To your graduation."

"Here, here," Sam said.

"Thanks guys," I said, tapping my cup against theirs. "Thanks for being there all the way through."

The gin tasted how it always had--like future mistakes laced with pine needles. I winced as I swallowed, the burn lingering for too long on the back of my tongue, but got it all down in one go, though I could feel it sitting insidiously in my stomach.

It wasn't long before Danny got swept into the party as Sam, Josh and Jake had, all in varied directions, while I wasn't sure where to find my place. It was easy to make small talk with someone but beyond that was futile--I wasn't even sure where to stand or sit without feeling awkward. I thought that maybe I should have had Danny drive, so at least alcohol could have given me an advantage. I couldn't even find Sam to smoke.

I could, however, bum a cigarette off someone outside and if you're smoking you don't look quite as awkward by yourself. I was eternally grateful to the sweet, already very drunk girl who handed me her pack of Camels.

As I leaned back against the brick siding of the house, hard and scratchy on my back, I took a drag and looked up at the sky--there was a smattering of white stars visible and I tried to spot any constellations but couldn't, although I spotted what I thought might have been Saturn. Who knew? I had never taken astronomy.

My solitude was interrupted by Tyler and two other guys coming through the back door, all with drinks in hand, one of the guys with a cigarette behind his ear. I stood up straighter, my spine aligning with the brick, and took another drag. _Shouldn't have been DD_.

"Oh hey," Tyler said to me, meandering over to my spot.

"Hey."

"How'd you like the ceremony?"

"Uh--well, I was just glad to have Josh with me," I admitted.

"You looked nervous."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You looked nervous onstage."

I exhaled smoke. "Well, being onstage is more Josh's thing than mine, anyway."

Tyler laughed, clearly a little drunk. "Fair enough. But you have your degree now," he said. "Come on, let's do a shot."

His offer was tempting and anyway, what was one more shot? I would drink water the rest of the night and it would be fine. I was sure we'd be there far past a reasonable hour anyway.

"A shot of what?" I asked.

"Your choice," Tyler replied with a shrug.

I took a final drag of the cigarette and followed him back inside.

There was still no Sam, Danny or Josh to be found but Jake was perched on a chair in the living area, looking very invested in an emphatic conversation with yet another stranger. Tyler and I went into the kitchen, still cramped with people, and he gestured to the array of liquor bottles with a sweep of his hand.

I looked them over, cursing Sam for the initial shot of gin. It didn't matter what I had after that--gin was always a recipe for disaster--but I knew I didn't want to do it again. Instead I plucked the bottle of Svedka from the lineup.

Tyler nodded his approval and reached over me, putting his entire upper body in my face, to get into one of the cupboards for shot glasses, setting them on the counter with a dense "clink."

"To being fucking done with school," he declared, holding his shot glass in front of himself.

I lifted mine to meet his. "Cheers to that," I agreed.

We tapped our glasses together before slamming them down on the counter, then downed the Svedka--it burned but it didn't burn quite as bad as the gin. I wiped the residual vodka from my bottom lip and tried to shake away the sensation from my tongue.

"Aside from Josh's band, what sort of music do you like?" Tyler asked.

"A lot of things," I said. "I try not to discriminate too much."

"Indie?"

I nodded. "Some."

"Okay, 'cause I feel like you might like this band," Tyler started to say, pulling out his phone.

_Oh god_ , I thought. There was nothing worse than some guy trying to get you to listen to music he liked and thought you would like. I scanned my eyes everywhere visible to spot any of the guys but Jake, who had been the only one I had seen, had disappeared. There was no one to save me. 

"But we have to smoke first," Tyler added. "I feel like you have to listen to them high. At least the first time."

It still sounded like a pretty rough time for myself but getting high with anyone was better than standing around mostly sober and definitely alone.

We went around the side of the house, away from the patio and into the dark, me with a bottle of water and Tyler carrying another drink plus the bowl and little container of weed he had stored in his pockets. There was a little light coming in from the windows to the living area and I sat down below it. At least it was nice to feel the damp, cool grass beneath me as Tyler began to accost my ears with a band called Stone Attack.

I thought it was a lame name.

Tyler took a hit from the bowl, inhaling it deep and holding the smoke in his lungs as he passed it to me, still red and burning. I followed, taking in the musky taste, coughing a little as I did so, pushing through it.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Tyler asked me and took a sip of his drink.

"What do you mean?"

"With being done with school."

"I'm not sure," I answered, passing the bowl back to him. "It's too soon to think about, right?"

"Is it?" Tyler replied. "It feels like we're all supposed to like, immediately get careers."

"Well, what are you gonna do?"

Tyler shrugged as he inhaled again. "Dunno. We'll see, I guess."

I nodded, taking the bowl again, listening to the music with the muffled conversations from inside behind us.

"I'm glad you came tonight," Tyler went on. "Josh talked about you so much, you seemed cool."

I could see him looking at me even in the dark. "I'm flattered by Josh," I said. "And I'm glad you're so accommodating to uh, uninvited guests."

Tyler chuckled. "No problem." He put his hand on my knee, running it up to my thigh, and squeezed gently.

I stared at it, not sure of what to say or do, especially with being tipsy and also very stoned. It felt so odd, his hand on my leg, the strange music, being in the dark--and then it felt like the most ridiculous fate when I saw Danny come around the side.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," he said to me, approaching for a second longer and then stopping. It was dark but I could still see him look down at Tyler's hand.

Tyler took his hand away and extended the bowl to Danny. "Want a hit?"

That was my queue to get up. I brushed whatever dirt and grass there might have been stuck to the ass of my jeans and went to Danny. "See you in there, Tyler," I said.

Danny was silent until we got to the patio, a few people still outside smoking and talking.

"What's going on?" he asked simply and I couldn't tell if he was more pissed at me or Tyler.

"We were just smoking and listening to some shitty band," I explained.

Danny paused for a moment before saying, "His hand was on your leg."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "Imagine how _I_ feel about that."

I could see Danny was somewhat drunk--his cheeks were pink and his eyes were a little glassy--which was bound to make the whole thing worse, especially because I wasn't sober either.

"I was looking for you," he said again. "You didn't have to wander off."

"Danny, you and Sam both left _me_ ," I reminded him.

"Why was his hand on your leg?"

I was already exhausted--Danny and I didn't fight a lot but when we did, it was never about something so stupid. We were also still around other people, though I had forgotten for a moment but when I caught the other bodies in my peripheral, I felt humiliated.

"Why are you talking to me like I did something wrong?" I demanded. I felt like I might cry which made me feel even more stupid.

Danny opened his mouth to speak and I could tell he was going to come right back at me, but then he paused again before saying, "You're right. I'm sorry."

Even that made me go over the edge. I felt the tears threatening to overflow my eyes, my cheeks hot, my whole body tense. Everything about what was happening just made me feel worse and Danny's apology didn't help in the moment.

I nodded in response, biting my lip, then turned and started to head back inside, past the other people and through the sliding glass doors, ignoring Danny even when he called out, "Wait."

I needed to find Josh. I couldn't find him though, or Sam, so maybe they had gone to the basement or upstairs or even the garage and I didn't have the energy to check all those places, especially not with being on the verge of tears. Jake was my saving grace--I saw him emerge from the downstairs bathroom off the kitchen and I rushed over to him.

"Wanna have a cigarette?" I asked him.

He seemed taken aback by my sudden appearance, understandably so. He offered a small smile, his hair hanging in his face a bit. "Okay," he said, then tilted his head a little, still looking at me. "What's wrong?"

I laughed quietly then, feeling stupid all over again for freaking out over what was, at the end of the day, nothing. "I'll tell you outside," I said, leading the way out the front door.

"Last one," Jake said when we got out there, looking inside his pack. "We'll share."

I nodded and, when he lit it and started to inhale, I said, "Danny's upset with me."

"Danny? Mad at you?" Jake replied, smiling. "Since when?"

I had to laugh, the tears finally seeming to dry, as I took the cigarette. "Hard to believe, right?" I joked. "No, really. I went outside to smoke with Tyler and Danny came around just as Tyler had his hand on my leg."

Jake smirked. "Okay."

I swatted his arm. "Right? It's not a big deal," I declared. "Also, what sort of fucked up fate is that Danny comes out just at that moment?"

Jake took the cigarette back from me. "So what did he say?"

"He acted like I did something wrong. But I didn't."

Jake considered that. "Danny gets jealous," he said. "That's all."

I sighed. "I know. But it made me upset that he started picking a fight with me over something I didn't even do."

The front door opened, forcing me to move off to the side of the step, and Danny emerged.

"Jesus, finally found you," he said to me.

"I'm getting another drink," Jake said and handed me the cigarette as he went back inside.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke so much," Danny said--just as my upset was wavering he had found a way to revive it.

I took a deep breath before taking a drag, trying not to overreact. "I didn't even really wanna come," I told him. "Tyler is Josh's friend. The rest of us just tagged along."

Danny looked at me in silence.

"All of you abandoned me pretty much right after we got here," I went on. "But I'm the bad guy for getting high with someone?" I took another drag and added, "Anyways, the music Tyler played for me was terrible."

Danny did crack a smile at that but then his face fell again. "I'm sorry we abandoned you," he said. "I know we get easily sidetracked. I didn't mean to."

"I should've let you be DD," I said. "Maybe I could've actually had fun."

"I'm sorry," Danny said again. "I overreacted back there. It wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't anyone's fault," I replied. "It was just something that happened." I stomped out the cigarette butt beneath my shoe.

Danny moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. I hesitated for a second but then I felt his warm body and smelled the alcohol and smoke on him and wrapped my arms around him too, resting my face in the crook of his neck, his hair tickling my cheek. His fingers ran through my hair then, dragged down to trace along my back.

"I love you, Danny," I said into his neck.

"I love you too," he said softly in my ear.

"I wish I hadn't had another shot," I admitted. "Then I could drive home right now."

"Come on," Danny said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as he led us back in. "We'll get you some water and something to eat. It'll be fine."

"We need time to wrangle the guys anyway," I said, feeling relieved that Danny and I had been able to talk it all out, that his arm was over me.


	14. Tell Me When

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s m u t

I dropped Josh, Sam and Jake off back home, all of them staggering inside but especially Josh, who was so unsteady on his feet that he almost fell and Sam had to clumsily catch him as they headed up the sidewalk to their front door.

The wave of relief I felt walking in my apartment was massive--I couldn't recall another time I had been so grateful to be back in the small, white-walled space. I didn't feel high by that point but when I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes still had a lingering redness to them. I cupped the running faucet water in my hands and brought them to my lips, the cottonmouth still lingering a bit too.

Danny was sitting on the edge of my bed looking at his phone when I came out of the bathroom. "Are we good?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Yeah, we're good," I said, kicking off my shoes. "I'm sorry--I was just upset."

"You don't have to apologize," Danny assured me, standing up and taking my face in his hands. "Let me make it up to you."

He pressed his lips on mine then and I immediately relaxed into his kiss. His left hand lingered on my cheek as his right traveled down the length of my body to squeeze my ass, then a moment later he was undoing the fly of my jeans and pulling them down.

Danny shoved me back onto the bed and yanked my jeans the rest of the way off, his hands running down my legs. As his fingers went back up to start to pull down my underwear, I said, "Wait--are you still drunk?"

Danny continued, gently sliding my underwear down and onto the floor, his fingertips grazing my legs. "Not really. Why?"

"I don't wanna have sex with you if I'm sober and you're drunk."

"I'm not," he replied and moved up to kiss me, pressing me into the mattress as he parted his lips, his index finger running over me lightly, sliding through my wetness. I shuddered and pulled Danny's shirt over his head, then able to smooth my hands over his torso, feeling the taut muscles, his necklaces still dangling over his chest.

He got back on the floor and between my legs, spreading them. He kissed up my right thigh, his lips lingering on the soft fleshy part right where my pelvis and thigh connect. My breathing was already going rough, my chest rising and falling in anticipation, my heart feeling as though it might burst through my ribs when I felt Danny's nose gingerly brush against me.

"Oh fuck," I uttered when he dragged the tip of his tongue up--the soft, warm contact already causing me to grab the covers. My fists tightened around them as he continued, licking up and down before slipping his tongue inside a bit while his upper lip brushed against my clit.

I exhaled, looking up at the ceiling. Danny may not have been drunk anymore but there was still clearly some alcohol left in his system--his movements were more fluid, more free. It was all instinct, no thought.

His mouth landed right on my clit--my legs instinctively closed around his head as I let out a whine, but he pinned them back, digging his fingers into my thighs. I tore my eyes away from the ceiling to look down at him and he looked up at me, his golden eyes shining beneath his dark brows as he licked and sucked.

That was almost enough to make me cum--he knew it too, because then Danny slowly, painfully, removed his lips and tongue from me, pressing one last kiss to my inner thigh before climbing on top of me. He held my head back by my hair and kissed me deep, not waiting for my go-ahead before he slid his tongue in my mouth. I accepted, sliding my tongue over his to meet his messy kiss, my own hand pulling on his hair as the other squeezed his bicep.

Danny stood up and undid his belt, slid his pants off himself and onto the floor and then got back on top of me. He coerced me to the middle of the bed with his knee in between my legs as he kept his mouth on mine, his fingers tangling in my hair, only breaking away to lean over me and get a condom. With him caught off guard I pulled his lower body down into me, spreading my legs and letting his pelvis press into mine.

"I think I'd be jealous too," I said, grinding against him. "If I saw someone else with their hands on you."

"You don't have to worry about that," Danny said, a little out of breath and starting to move with my body.

"Not now," I replied, placing my hands on his waist. "But when Greta Van Fleet inevitably makes it big--who knows?"

"You still wouldn't," Danny assured me and bent down to kiss me. He broke away to put on the condom, then abruptly yanked my shirt off me. I took off my bra and let it fall to the floor; he pressed himself against me and grabbed both of my breasts, squeezing them. I moaned quietly in response, moving my right hand from his waist to grip his bicep again, squeezing the hard muscle.

"I want you," Danny said in a low voice, looking into my eyes.

"I'm all yours," I replied.

He slowly entered then, his right hand still pressed against the bed with his arm straight, my own right hand reaching up to the side of his neck. Within the warm column of flesh and muscle, I could feel his pulse--then I hooked onto his necklace and pulled him down into a kiss as he let me adjust to him, both of us just taking one another in.

"Are you okay?" Danny asked when he got the hilt, taking a deep breath. I nodded in response and he commenced, thrusting gently but deeply, our pelvises still connected. His movements were slow and steady--much less uninhibited than he had been a few minutes prior--and as he continued, picking up the pace slightly, he looked into my eyes, locking his gaze on me.

He always captured me like that. He always looked at me like that, like I was the only person in the world. I loved him--sincerely, irreparably loved him--so much and, when Danny looked at me like that, I knew it was matched. 

I hooked my leg over his hips, driving him further into me, and he groaned quietly. That enthused him to work a little faster and harder, bumping his abdomen into mine for a few thrusts before he sat back. He pulled me into him by my thighs, leaning back with his hands on my hips so I was almost sitting on top of him. I ground into him, only encouraging what he was already doing.

Danny licked his thumb and put it to my clit, rubbing in soft, circular motions and I threw my head back. "Fuck, Danny," I moaned, grinding harder into him, squeezing him inside me.

Danny moaned too, his other hand gripping my hip hard. "Tell me when."

His fingers felt so good; him inside me felt so good; his hard, warm body underneath me felt so good. I opened my eyes and looked at him, both of us breathing hard, and gazed over his flushed face, his hair wild, and down his tan chest to his solid abdomen, the muscles flexing. I closed my eyes again, dictating all my senses but sight to focus on him, and after a few more swirls of his finger I was over the edge.

I grasped for his hand as I came but ended up latching onto his forearm, moaning his name. Danny momentarily took his arm away to squeeze my hand and thrust harder, groaning, "Oh fuck" before his thrusts spasmed and slowed, him rocking into me before coming to a halt.

He pushed me back on the bed, kissing me with himself still in me, and I ran my hands through his hair, locking my legs around his lower back, still reeling from my own orgasm, my body still pulsing around him. I held him against me but Danny eventually lifted his hips away from mine, though when he rolled over onto his back he took me with him, rolling me onto my side.

I grabbed him and pulled him closer, playing with his hair, my cheek resting on his shoulder. "You're so warm," I mumbled and Danny chuckled into my hair in response.

I was exhausted. So exhausted I could already feeling my eyes threatening to shut completely, the temptation to just fall asleep with Danny right then and there palpable, but I still needed to get up and go to the bathroom, wash my face, brush my teeth--everything. I propped myself up with one hand and exhaled before forcing my body to move, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the floor on my way into the bathroom.

Danny came into the bathroom as I was brushing my teeth, leaning against the doorway. I glanced at his reflection then grabbed his toothbrush, handing it to him. He entered and I moved over to the side of the sink, trying to prevent any mint-flavored foam dribble onto my shirt.

"I am really sorry about tonight," Danny said, reaching for the toothpaste.

"You've already apologized so much," I reminded him after I spit the toothpaste out, rubbing his arm. He looked so hot after sex but, while apologetic, the brazen sexiness was a little overtaken by the adorable sheepishness. "It's okay, seriously. I think we both flipped out over nothing."

"I'm sorry you had a bad time."

"All in all, it wasn't so bad. I think watching Josh get destroyed in beer pong made up for all of it."

Danny laughed. "He really tried though."

"He always does. You also just completely made it up to me now, so thank you," I reminded him, catching his smile as I leaned back down to cup some water to my mouth, rinsing out the remnants of the toothpaste. "Did Bridget say when the article will be published?"

"It'll be in the next one," Danny told me. "So a few weeks."

I exhaled, watching Danny commence brushing his teeth. "I'm really proud of you. Of all of you."

He smiled, the toothbrush in his mouth. "I'm really proud of you," he said after he spat. "You worked so hard."

"Well, you were there the whole time. That helped."

Danny reached below the sink and handed me the bottle of mouthwash. "I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

Everything considered, there wasn't any better feeling than being in bed with Danny. He was the best cuddler--warm, strong yet soft and all-encompassing. I got back into bed first and watched him settle in after me--how the muscle and flesh over his ribs moved as he lifted his knee onto the bed and sat down before he leaned back against the headboard, lifting his arm behind himself to adjust the pillow; his hand running through his hair, brushing it back, before removing the hair tie from his wrist and putting the thick, dark tresses up in a messy bun, which was, in fact, my favorite.

"If I could sleep with the light on, I would," I said, still gazing at him. "Just so I could look at you."

Danny laughed. "You're too much. But I'm actually gonna turn off the light now," he said and reached over to do just that, enveloping us in darkness except for the faint glow of the moon which came through the blinds. "I think we're both exhausted."

As he settled down next to me, laying the pillow flat under his head and rolling onto his stomach, I pressed myself against his side. Danny lifted his arm to let me tuck myself underneath, my face in his armpit for a moment before I switched so his forearm rested across my collarbone. He sighed and moved back onto his side, pressing his right leg in between mine and his left leg over my calves, hooking me up against him snugly.

"What was that band called again?" Danny mumbled into my hair.

"What band?"

"The one Tyler played."

"Oh, uh--Stone Attack."

Danny chuckled quietly. "That's a dumb name," he murmured and wrapped his leg around me tighter.


	15. The Mundane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i stuck at updating here sorry

I was stuck in a daze at the bookstore, my chin cradled in my hand with my elbow against the countertop. I liked the solitude there but sometimes I actually wanted Jason, as much of a dick as he could be, to be there, especially when my mind was swimming with anxieties. First it started with thinking about asking Jason if I could work there full-time but again, I wasn't sure how he was paying me at all to begin with; then I was thinking about how, if I couldn't find a better full-time job, I would have to get another menial second job.

Reveling in being free from college wasn't really happening no matter how badly I wished I could. Being out of school meant an entirely new set of anxieties.

I sighed and pushed myself back from the counter, gripping the edges and stretching my arms out in front. It was a slow day, a Wednesday. I knew that Danny was also at work--sometimes I tried to telepathically contact him to share in the mundane--just something to make me feel less isolated within the confines of the shop.

I turned around to look at what the view from the bookstore offered: the village street lined with a few cars under the streetlamps and parking signs, though in that moment I didn't see anyone walking; the leaves of the trees finally green and shiny against the pale blue of the sky, the clouds overhead allowing some relief from the unseasonable heat. Everything was just so quiet, inside and outside.

Suddenly Josh appeared outside the window, trotting past the glass. He stopped when he saw me looking and his face broke into a huge grin as he waved. Seconds later the bell above the door rang and he was in front of the counter.

Josh slapped down a piece of paper. "It's here," he announced.

With one finger I dragged the paper to me. It was a print-out, displaying some words about a new restaurant opening up and photos of a storefront, but on the right hand side I saw the photo of the guys--they looked like absolute hippies, all adorned in flowing fabrics and denim and long necklaces, and were hanging over one another in the photo, all big smiles.

"Oh my god," I exclaimed, my eyes still glued to the paper, frantic to read what Bridget had wrote. It was short but it was sweet--she had given Greta Van Fleet a glowing review, making note of all of the guys' separate contributions to the band and didn't once mention Led Zeppelin, plus a little interview with all of them.

Josh leaned over the counter, his bead and shell necklace dangling. "It's good, right?"

I was still holding the paper in my hands, gawking at it. "Yes, it's great, Josh," I said. "I knew it would be but seeing it for real is so cool."

"Bridget emailed us the rest of the photos," Josh told me. "I'll send them to you."

"Can I keep this?" I asked, holding the paper out.

"Yes, silly."

"Wait, I know," I said and grabbed the tape dispenser from the counter, moving to the window. I gauged where the article would be seen best--I knew Jason wouldn't let me put it on the door so I taped it up next to the door, as best at eye-level as I could make it.

"For all your customers?" Josh teased, smirking.

"Oh god, I know," I groaned. "You'd think with school being out now, we'd get busier."

"Maybe everyone's just done with reading," Josh replied and opened a book from the counter, one about cryptids of the Pacific Northwest. "Which I don't understand."

"As an English major, I get it," I said. "But still. Jason leaves me here every day with nothing to do. I've reorganized this place more times than I can remember."

Josh averted his eyes from the book to me. "Why don't you ask Bridget about a writing job?"

"I didn't go to school for journalism."

"So?" Josh replied and closed the book, hopping up onto the counter and twisting to face me. "You still studied English and writing, right?"

I sighed and propped myself up next to him, still facing the window. "I could ask," I said. "But it's like, she already did me a favor, you know?"

"You should really think about it. It'd be more exciting than this place."

"This place could be exciting if the owner gave two shits."

"There's good stuff in here. He doesn't market the place at all though," Josh noted. "If you wrote for a journal, you could write something about it."

"Josh, you're always full of good ideas," I said, mussing with his curls. I told myself I would think about what Josh said--it couldn't hurt to ask Bridget if there was a place for me, a job that was more suited to my skills and, hopefully, offered a pay raise. The future was imminent no matter what I chose to do.

"How are you and Daniel?" Josh asked, turning around so we were both facing the window, the street beyond it still quiet and barren.

"Oh god, did Jake tell you about that?"

Josh laughed. "He got pretty drunk, so--"

"We're fine," I told him. "It was such a stupid fight. But I get it--I'd be upset if I saw a girl doing that. I mean, I was upset by it before we even started dating."

"Daniel's very loyal--you have nothing to worry about."

I sighed. "I know. But--I don't know, Josh. Things are changing."

"Like what?"

"We graduated; Danny's not even in school anymore," I started to explain. "Greta Van Fleet is playing shows almost weekly and you guys are officially in print."

Josh looked at me quizzically. "So what are you worried about? We have time to figure it out along the way."

"I'm thinking too much," I admitted. "But the future is scary, right?"

Josh nodded. "It can be. But we all have each other, right, darling?"

I smiled, feeling a little reassured by Josh's words. It was too early to feel daunted by it all. "By the way," I said, resting my head on Josh's shoulder. "Your friend Tyler has terrible taste in music."


	16. Ultimo

"Can you just tell me where we're going?" I asked Danny, the engine of his car rumbling beneath me. I had been forced to put on a blindfold--the kid was lucky I trusted him enough to do it, although at first I thought he'd been joking. 

"You have to wait," Danny replied. "We're almost there."

"This is the most boring kidnapping," I grumbled.

Danny laughed. "Would you stop?"

He was right though--I didn't have to wait much longer before the tires were slowly rolling over gravel and then I heard him put the car in park. Still blindfolded, I freed myself from the seat belt but before I could get out, Danny opened the door for me and took my hand, guiding me out of the car.

"I'm not sure what to expect," I said.

"That's the point," Danny replied. He went behind me and untied the bandana from around my eyes.

As it fell away I blinked, adjusting to the morning light. It shimmered and bounced off the water of the lake--a huge, rippling pool of dusky green in front of us. I could smell the algae from the shore and the crisp, still-cool air around us. A pair of ducks idly floated nearby, carried on by the rippling water.

"Oh my god," I said, still mesmerized by the sight but I turned to Danny. "We haven't been here in so long."

He looked pleased. "I know, it really has been a while."

"This was worth getting up early for," I said, wrapping my arms around him. He looked so beautiful in the soft morning light.

He hugged me back, squeezing me against him. "It's the best time to do it. Complete solitude."

I pulled back, letting my hands linger on Danny's shoulders as I looked out at the water again. On the other side of the lake, cottages lined the shore, the trees dark and tall around them. Everything was so quiet, so still. The soft, wet sound of a fish jumping through the surface of the water caught my attention and then everything went back to birds chirping and insects humming.

"Breakfast first," Danny announced, leaving me and returning to the car to rummage around in the backseat.

"What'd you bring?" I asked, trying to peer over his shoulder.

He held up a box of Wild Berry Pop-Tarts with a grin. "Classic, right?"

I chuckled, taking the box from him. "Classic." I went back to the front seat to grab our coffees from the cup holders, cradling the Pop-Tarts under my arm.

Danny shut the car door, slinging a blanket over his shoulder. "You lead the way, babe."

I scanned the area and my eyes landed on what had always been our usual spot--the little cove of land that jutted out into the shallows, a cozy circle of grass and a single, tall oak tree shading it.

Danny laid the blanket out, smoothing its edges, so we were able to sit ourselves right on the edge, the water lapping at the thin line of sand beneath the ledge. I sat down cross-legged and tore open the Pop-Tarts, handing one packet to Danny.

I broke off a piece and popped it into my mouth, leaning back to admire the water. "What made you wanna come here?"

"The last time we came here was about a year ago," Danny said. "But it always sort of felt like our place."

I turned to look at him. "For me too, actually." I looked back to the water with a sigh. "I missed it. I always think back to when Josh's car got stuck in the mud."

Danny laughed. "I remember Sam slipping and falling in it more vividly."

I laughed too, leaning against him, "Josh was so pissed about the interior." My laughter stopped when I turned my attention back to the lake. The fact that another entire year had gone by was unsettling--hadn't it been just yesterday when Danny and I confessed our feelings for one another inside a tent? Looking at the lake, I wished for a moment I could go back to that time, to relive all those special moments over again.

"Everything's changing," I said. Even the view confirmed that--the sun was getting higher, the color of the sky was shifting.

"What do you mean?"

"Josh and I graduated--I have to look for another job, I guess," I began, sitting up. "You guys are doing your own thing now. I already miss the times we used to have together now, so it's just gonna get harder from here on out." I felt Danny's chin on my shoulder then.

"Things will change," he said quietly. "But some things will stay the same, right?"

"Like what?"

"We'll still have those good times, even if it's less often," Danny said. "No one's going anywhere."

I had felt dread rise in my gut since we had started talking and I wasn't sure why it had been instigated--maybe it was brought on by the lake, a place we hadn't been in so long, a place that was really ours yet still felt so distant; maybe it was the stress and fear from graduating I hadn't processed yet. But all I could think of when I looked at the water was how things were changing and I was scared. Not everything was going to be the same. We weren't going to be the same people forever.

I choked back tears, the water seeming to taunt me. It was supposed to be a nice day and there I was, ruining it with unnecessary sentimentality and fear.

Danny nuzzled my neck and held me against him. "It's okay."

"I'm scared," I blurted, the tears starting to run down my cheeks.

"I know," he replied against my skin.

I knew he knew, past all the fronts I tried to put on, he still knew. But I wasn't sure he knew what I was afraid of.

I hesitated to say it as I clutched Danny's arm against my chest but, when he held me tighter, it came out: "I'm afraid of losing you."

He lifted his face from my shoulder and tilted my cheek toward him with his fingertips. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You guys will all be famous soon," I said, laughing at my own absurdity. "Then what am I gonna do?"

"Are you really worried about that? Oh my god."

I laughed more. "I think about it. You guys will be. And I'll still be here."

"I think you're more afraid of your own future," Danny said, back to resting his chin on my shoulder.

Oh god. Danny had a point and I hadn't thought of it before. Yes, I was afraid of the possibility of Greta Van Fleet making it big and leaving me behind, but I was even more afraid of having nothing for myself if that were to happen.

"Danny," I sighed, holding his arm tighter around me, comforted by his body surrounding mine. "I really love you."

Danny took my jaw in his hand and turned me to him, looking into my eyes. "I love you too," he said. "Seriously--I'm not going anywhere. None of us are."

His touch could soothe any of my worries. I rested my wrists on either side of his neck, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck. "You promise?"

Danny leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. He kept his lower lip flush with mine until I parted my lips slightly, kissing him back with matching tenderness.

"I promise."

He took me back in his arms and I turned my cheek on his shoulder, his hair tickling my skin, to look out at the water, at the ducks still bobbing; the leaves of all the trees shimmying a little in the breeze; the golden sun half-hidden behind the hazy clouds.

I had to believe Danny's words--in that moment with his arms around me, I told myself over and over that I believed it, that I believed no matter what happened, we'd always find a way back to one another. But what really mattered was that we were all together--we were all together and Danny's heart beat in sync with mine. Nothing else mattered.


End file.
